I'm Back Baby

Sorry I took so long off. I was a bit down after the house debacle and I didn't think anyone would want to read about me feeling sorry for myself.

I'm feeling better now thanks to a lot of loving people showing me that 1. I have a great life just the way it is, and 2. I was acting like a spoiled rotten brat who didn't get my way, you know who you are, YOU KNOW.

I really haven't been up to much this month. My family went to Bear Lake with all my brother's, my sister's and Papa Guy and Grandma Honey. We had a great time swimming, playing volleyball, and four wheeling in the sand. The guys had to have a wheelie contest on the four wheelers, none of them broke anything so I'm happy.

The water was beautiful this year. It seems like every year we have storms that roll in at the same time every day but this year it was perfect.

I understand that the next weekend was pretty bad with wind and rain, sorry about that Ann, Lowell and Rae.

Today is the last day for that cash for clunkers scam. I tried to find a car for my sister, to help her get through college, to no avail. We had $7300 to put down on a $19,000 car and the lowest we could get the price was $15,000. I'm not the best at math but that doesn't add up or subtract to me, how about you? I was proud of Ann, I knew she wanted the car but she walked away. I wish I could have helped her find a good deal.

When I was in my pissed off mood I decided to paint my front room, bad idea. I still really liked my sage green walls with hand painted cream stripes. Now it is all primer white and I don't know what to do. I thought about bright red, you know to reflect my anger, but I didn't think my shabby chic furniture would go well.

Plus the whole reason I decided to paint the room is because an appraiser told me my house had too much personality. I don't think red gets away from that.

HELP! I don't know what color to paint the room. My house is totally destroyed right now. I have boxes that still need to be unpacked and all my front room furniture in the middle of the floor and scattered in other rooms.

My Home teachers came over last night and we all had to huddle in our quiet room to visit. Boy did it get hot in there on top of really stinky (the paint fumes).

My poor husband starts school this week and the one thing he asked me to do is get the quiet room, which is our version of a den, organized so he has a place to study.

He's been such a great guy through this whole debacle. He knows how bad I wanted the house and when we pulled out, and I melted, he stepped up and loved me even when I wasn't very lovable. I sure have a great guy!!!

I guess what I want to accomplish in this blog is to let everyone know that I am okay and I will try to do better on my blogging if for nothing else than for me to focus on something.

Thank you to all my fans, I've always wanted to say that. Thank you for being here for me and I will do my best to be there for you.

I'm a Pain in the Neck

I think the Lord must have a weird sense of humor. Here I am a few days before my trip to Boston and my neck goes out on me. To be honest I don't think it's all that funny.

The last time my neck went out on me, two years ago, it was right before I was to leave to Montana. But last time it came on slowly over a period of a week, this time it hit me all in one night.

I went to bed just fine and about 3 a.m. I woke to an intense pain in my neck. I pulled myself out of bed to get some Advil, I didn't want to wake Big D. The Advil helped me make it to the morning until Big D woke up. He ran to the store and bought some Biofreeze and a massager. I've been having him massage me at least twice a day since then.

I think it's working. I went to church today and told everyone that Big D didn't like the way I did the dishes, but I learned my lesson. I didn't think I'd make it through Sacrament meeting but I did

I am really hoping that I can be all better before I have to sit on an airplane for five hours. I don't think Big D wants to listen to me whine for that long. Plus, if I'm laid up my entire visit to Boston I am going to be super duper oober pissed.

I am implimenting the power of postive thinking, "I will be better. I will be better. Oh please, let me be better!"

Yukon Disaster

If we didn't have drama, life would be boring. Plus, I'd have nothing to write about.

We took a trip up to Washington for our cousin's wedding a few weekends ago. On the way up we decided to stop and check out this Yukon we found on Craig's List. We really weren't going to but we thought since we were in the area we might as well. We test drove it and then went on our marry way.

Big D has been wanting a bigger vehicle like this for a couple years now. I've been very impressed with how patient he's been and how diligent in finding just the right one.

Over the weekend we discussed it and decided to purchase it on the way home. I'm pretty sure having eight people crammed into a tiny mini van helped with the decision.

After the couple hour drive in our new Yukon Big D decided he didn't like the way the big truck tires sounded and felt on the freeway so he took it in to Les Schwab to see if there was anything they could do about it, short of all new tires. They gave him some options and rotated the tires for us.

Big D was really excited to see how the Yukon pulled our boat so we decided to go boating the next day. We invited Brook and his family to join us and we all headed out after work.

As soon as we pulled out of the driveway I asked Big D if he felt like the shaking was worse than before? He said he couldn't really tell yet. We got distracted about all the fun we were about to have and didn't broach the subject again.

We got all the way out to the reservoir and at the top of the boat ramp I could tell Big D was feeling something funny. He started turning the wheel back and forth and then we slammed into the ground. I thought we hit a huge pot hole, until I saw our front drivers side wheel rolling off down the ramp and into the reservoir.



I had to walk down the ramp and fish the wheel out. We were so lucky because there were tons of people out boating and all their expensive trucks where parked along side the ramp. Our wheel went right past all of the trucks and trailers, all the people and animals, we were so lucky!!! We were even more lucky, or should I say blessed, that it didn't happen five minutes earlier when we were going 75 mph down the freeway.



Brook hooked up the boat to his truck, thank goodness he was there. The funny thing is five minutes after it happened my brother, Lowell, called me and asked if we were all okay. I asked him how in the world he knew so fast. He laughed and said he was the center of the loop, he knows every thing, some times before they happen. I told him he could have given us a heads up then.

We called Les Schwab and they sent out a truck to fix us up so we could get home. After an hour of being the center of attention and having people telling us the obvious, "Wow, dude that sucks!" Les Schwab finally showed up. Big D calmly told them, "You've let me stew for an hour, I don't think this is the best time to talk to me. We are going boating, you fix the truck and park it on the side for us. I'll talk to you tomorrow." We left and went boating.



After we were done boating we had a mismatched wheel on our Yukon and six terrified people to ride home in it. We had Brook pull the boat home and we followed, slowly. I guess I just hope that this isn't the kind of "mark" we will be known for when we say we left our "mark" on this world.

They R Going 2 Kick Me OUT

I was in the Young Women program for about three or four years, I can't remember the exactness. I have now been out of the program for about five years.

I know leaders are suppose to love all their young women, and I did. However, there is a select few that I call "MY" young women. Girls that I got really close with as I watched them grow and as they let me be a part of their lives.

Since being released I have attended two of my girls' weddings in the temple, Yeah for them. One of my girls got pregnant and then married, a bit disappointing but understandable. No matter how hard we try to influence these girls they still have their free agency. She has since given birth to a beautiful baby boy and has made plans to get sealed to her new little family in a couple months.

Now, just today, I was informed that one of "MY" young women came out of the closet. I can't say I'm totally surprised by the news but I am hugely disappointed. She is living with another of the young women from our group, not one of "MY" young women, but none the less still one of the young women. So I guess you could say TWO of the young women have come out of the closet.

They have invited us, me and my family, to their ring ceremony. I don't know what to do with this invitation. I feel horrible for their families, but I feel worse for them: this is not an easy road they have chosen for themselves. Even in this day and time when the terms Gay and Lesbian are more radially accepted in the world, they aren't accepted in the LDS faith.

I know that being LDS we don't condone same sex relationships, but I still love my young woman. I want to go to show her that she is still loved, but I don't want to support that lifestyle. I don't want to confuse my children any more than they already are with what is acceptable and what is not.

We've already had to sit our kids down and explain Gay and Lesbian to them. Big D's niece came out of the closet a few years ago. We've had to teach our children that we can still love the person even when we don't love the choices they've made.

I'm sure once "MY" young woman's news gets fully "out" they are going to kick me out of the Primary for fear that my leadership skills are a bit lacking. Who knows how many of these poor innocent children I'm going to screw up.

I've Been Scammed

I ordered some of those new Acaiberry pills online, to be honest, because Oprah recommended them. They are suppose to be this new super food discovered in the Amazon or something. They are suppose to be a natural pill to help with weight loss, or so I thought. Any who, it was a scam.

The add said all I had to pay was for the shipping and handling on the first bottle to see if I liked them then they would send me more. I thought it was worth a try, I'm getting desperate to see some more results than I have been seeing.

What I didn't know was the company was only giving me a 15 day trial with the pills and if I didn't like them to send them back, with in the 15 days, for a full refund. Sounds like any other advertisement I guess, but I didn't know about the 15 day trial period I must have missed that part when ordering.

I get these pills in the mail and it says at the end of these 15 days they were going to charge my account $88.62 for the pills. WHAT!?! I would never order pills that expensive. So I sent the pills back the next day with a highlighted price and a "HELL NO" on the receipt.

After I sent the pills back I called the company to let them know that I sent the pills back and to not charge my account. They said they would close my account and thank you for your business.

All taken care of right? Wrong!

A week later my husband called me with a question on our bank statement. I didn't know what he was talking about so I looked it up and sure enough this company pulled the money out of my account. I was pissed.

I got on the phone and asked them what did they think they were doing. They were trying to tell me that I didn't call them until two weeks after I really did and that my 15 days had expired even though I'd sent back the product the day after I received it in the mail.

First off they started counting days the day I ordered the pills. So even though I didn't have the pills in my hand or even in the mail those days were already counting down.

That is dishonest and I don't care what they say.

What they weren't counting on is I had a tracking number placed on the package that I sent back. They were trying to tell me that my time period was up on the fourth of February and I said that's great because I show that you received the pills back on the fourth of February.

The dude on the other end of the phone shut up after that one. He told me my money would be credited back to my account in five to ten business days.

Ten business days was over a week ago and still nothing.

I called my bank to put a stop payment on the account in case they tried to pull money again. I was talking to the bank teller and she said I was about the tenth person to call complaining about this company and trying to stop payment because they kept taking money out of their accounts and not even shipping any product to them.

She said the company was sneaky because in order to stop payment on something the company has to be asking for the exact amount your stopping; this company asks for a different amount every time they pull money to get around this rule.

I thought I was screwed until I remembered we'd recently received new debit cards and I used my old card to purchase the pills. I asked her if she could stop payment on any one trying to pull money with my old card number and she said yes.

Sweet, a ray of hope. I just hope all the places we used our old card have already gotten their money or this could turn into a bigger problem. But I think we've had our new ones long enough that it won't be a problem.

So here is where I get on my soap box. If you read an advertisement about a lady who started taking a colon cleanser pill and acaiberry pills together and has lost a dramatic amount of weight in a very short period of time DO NOT BELIEVE IT. It is such a scam.

Since this has happened I've ran into this same story three different times. The story is the EXACT same, verbatim, only the pictures and name has changed. It says you can leave comments at the bottom of the stories so people can give their feed back on their own stories, SCAM. I tried leaving a comment to warn people it was a scam and it will say the website is having technical problems and can't post my comment or it will say too many people have left comments that the comment box is full.

I've always thought I was way to smart to ever fall for a scam, but nope. With technology growing in leaps and bounds, so is crime and dishonesty. I've come up with a new rule that if the website isn't a reputable website like Amazon or EBay, I am not going to order anything. I know people have been dooped on EBay before too but at least EBay is trying to make their site as safe as they can.

I'm glad I only got swindled out of a couple hundred dollars. Some people get scammed out of thousands, sometimes their entire life savings, but I'm still pissed. It's not like my family can afford to just had people money for no reason. We donate thousands of dollars to charities every year but that goes for a good cause and that we choose to do, this is different. This money went to greedy dishonest people who deserve a big spanking and to be grounded for at least five to ten years.

Spilt Personality

When I was at my sisters' house I decided to take a leisurely shower one day after everyone else had their turn. I thought I'd waited long enough to let the water heater fill back up but apparently I was wrong.

In the shower I decided to shave my legs. I think I only do it three times a year so you can imagine how hairy I was.

I got in the middle of shaving my first leg when the water started going cold. If I was smart I would've finished washing my hair and body before attempting to shave my legs. I didn't realize their house only had a ten gallon water heater.

I finished shaving the one leg then hurried to finish washing the more important parts. I barely made it out of the shower before I turned into a Popsicle.

After that experience, I totally forgot about my unshaven leg, until...

I wore shorts to the gym today.

I was on a squat/press machine, I don't know the technical term for it. It's the machine where I am sitting at a 45 degree angle and my legs are pushing a weight bar up at 45 degrees. I looked bent in half almost.

Any who, my legs were right at eye level with an instant reminder that I forgot to shave one leg. I looked like I was half amazon woman and the other half civilized, at least a little more civilized than amazon. I was a bit mortified, but I finished my workout.

And yes, I did shave my other leg as soon as I got home.

One of these days they are going to ask me to quit coming to the gym. Between my amazon legs, not being able to stand the smell of my self let alone having them smell me as I leave the gym, and me not knowing what in the world I am doing in there, it is only a matter of time.

Legitimate Concerns

I am going to discuss a sensitive topic, breasts. I know this is a subject that may be hard for some to read about, sorry dad. But I have a legitimate concern that needs to be addressed.

I come from a family where the women, on both sides of the family, are all well endowed, so to speak. One would think that I myself would also be blessed with some melons, but this is not so. Who knows maybe it skipped a generation.

I used to be okay, a 'C' cup, which isn't bad. However, after giving birth and breast feeding my udders have continually shrank with each baby. I am now the size I was in junior high, an 'A' cup.

I will admit that my teeny tiny... well you know, have been part of the reason it has taken me so long to get back into shape. I've always had the plan that after I was done with my child birthing years I would hit the gym hard and get a semblance of my old body back. However, everyone knows that breasts are made up of mostly fat and I am afraid that when I lose my weight I will also lose what tiny speed bumps I still have.

I could be wrong, who knows, my Ta Ta's could LOOK bigger once my belly is smaller and all my fears will have been in vain. But what if I end up being flat as a board with only goose bumps to my name?

I know there are solutions for woman who want bigger bosoms. But seriously, I've hugged woman who have had implants and it's like hugging a spear, I felt I was being skewered.

I've asked Big D if it bothers him that I'm shrinking, and bless him, he lies and says No. However, I've seen the excitement in his eyes after I'd had a baby, he was in Heaven, even though they were off limits. So even though his mouth is say No now, it clearly bothers him.

I almost feel like I have the same condition as the Wicked Witch of the West; someone has poured water on my chest and now my bust is melting.

Hazardous Snowmobiling

Yesterday the weather was over cast but warm. We all spent hours on the snow machines, even the tiny tots. Today, not so much.

I woke up to a beautiful crisp blue sky. I was so excited because I tried taking some pictures yesterday and they were all blah. So when I saw that bright sun reflecting off the snow like tiny diamonds, I got a little giddy.

We decided to take the kids over to a hill we saw the day before perfect for sledding. We pulled the kids to the hill, about a mile or two, with the cruel air biting any exposed skin it could reach.

We got to the hill where Bug went first and hit a huge jump and biffed it, I was so happy I didn't go down with her I was about to jump in with her. Surprisingly, Bud decided he wanted to go down next. Grandma Ellen was helping Bud get all ready to go down and I asked her if she was going with him.

Mind you, we just got done having a conversation with how conservative she is. She never takes risks, and yes she saw Bug just biff it on this same hill.

She climbed on the back of Bud and away they went. Thank goodness she missed the big jump, however, she did hit the little one. She landed right on her back and didn't move. I felt so bad for not talking her out of it, maybe even pressuring her into it with my little, "Oh are you going with Bud?" comment.



She didn't get up too quickly and not at all until she had help. She sat on the machine the rest of our adventure watching and trying to enjoy herself. Let's face it when you've broken your coxsis, like your butt, you really can't enjoy anything else.

It's a good thing my sister-in-law just had surgery on her shoulder, she gave her mother some of her heavy duty pain killers.

I told Grandma Ellen that I hoped she didn't decide to cancel our annual snowmobile trip just because we abused her once. That got a laugh but let's face it when your bum is broken the very last thing you want to do is laugh.



Big D and the boys pretending like they are at Disneyland.



Papa Ray did a great job at taking the kids back up the hill. In my day we had to walk up hill both ways to get to sled down again. Spoiled little tikes.



Bud on his last run down the hill. He barely made it into the sled before it took off down hill.



Big D is apoligizing to Beaner for throwing her off the sled when Papa was pulling them up the hill. She didn't get hurt she was just really pissed.



Papa called last run of the day and Bug ended up losing her sled and having to acturally run down the hill. I laughed and told her that Papa wasn't being literal.

I'd Do Anything For Those Sisters Of Mine

I had a crazy dream last night that really freaked me out.

I was at school and my sister Marie came up to me in a panic. Which is funny because Marie doesn't even live in the same state as me lest alone go to the same school as me. Any who, she came up to me in a panic because she was suppose to find a guinea pig for an experimental surgery her professor wanted to do that day and she never found anyone.

Hating to see her that way I offered to be the guinea pig for her so she didn't get in trouble. I was suppose to be an easy not to invasive procedure that took just a little of my time and possibly inflicted a tiny bit of pain.

Another funny point here is Ann is the sister going into the medical field, not Marie.

Apparently the news got broad cast on a breaking news special because half my home town all of a sudden knew about me and this procedure. Beaner's third grade teacher was coming up talking to me about it, as was Emily, a high school friend that I've lost contact with.

They are all asking me if I'm nervous and what exactly the surgery consists of. I'm trying to answer their question but I really don't understand myself what I've gotten myself into. All I know is I was trying to save my sister's hide so she didn't get kicked out of school.

Come to find out is the surgery in down by my Netherlands and I will be exposed for an entire class for observation. Well, it is a medical class it is a given there will be students present.

The next person that came up to me is my professor and he is talking about the procedure like he is going to be present for it, as is my entire journalism class.

It's one thing to let a bunch of strangers, whom I've never met and will never see again, watch my nakedness being cut open and examined. It's an entirely different scenario when it's a group of people I have to attend class with twice a week, plus, none of them are going into the medical field.

One would think that after giving birth to five children I wouldn't be shy about my Netherlands anymore. Especially after one of those births was to twins; I had half the hospital staff in my room.

The closer my journalism professor led me to the operating/class room the more nervous I got. Thank goodness as soon as we reached the doorway I woke up. I wouldn't let myself go back to sleep after that

I think if this dream, or should I say nightmare, has told me one thing it is that I would do anything for my sisters.

Destruction at Every Turn

I am so hoping this is just a phase but my kids are turning into demolition monsters. It started out with Bud. He got a $40 toy from his Grandma Ellen for his birthday, a dude riding a remote control four wheeler. He ripped the dude off an smashed him to bits.

It didn't stop there that was just the beginning. It was like this fire was ignited inside him and he started smashing any toy he could get his hands on. I would walk outside and their would just be remnants of toys scattered all over the back yard. Worse yet he was getting Bear involved.

I told them they weren't getting any more toys, ever.

We irrigate our back yard once a week. There is this low spot in our yard that puddles and the kids love to play in it. The boys have taken their big Tonka dump trucks and worn away my grass right through the middle of the puddle and around the Box elder tree.

I can't win with these monsters.

Now my girls are getting in on the destruction. Bug and Lynn went outside and dug a hole - six inches deep - in the middle of my lawn. Pretty soon passers by are going to think Rednecks live here.

What is a mother to do when driving them into the middle of nowhere and leaving them is illegal?

It's Amazing

It is amazing how trashed the house can get in two days. Granted I didn't leave the house spotless when I left, but I didn't leave a bomb ticking and ready to explode as soon as I stepped out the door.

I am not even kidding when I say every room in the house was trashed, not only that but the garage, front yard, and back yard as well.

My poor enslaved children have been asking how much work I am going to make them do today. It breaks my heart that they have a party all weekend and then I make them clean it up.

I feel bad for Big D too, having to take care of four children 24/7 for two days. He took them on a camp out one night, which turned out to be a disaster because Bear kept freaking out and wouldn't sleep. Then the neighbors gave him a little scooter to see if he could fix it. Well, not only could it not be fixed but now it is scattered all over my yard and house.

I guess when I take time off from my "job", it isn't any different from when other's take time off of their jobs; when you come back to work you have twice as much work to catch up on.

Well, I need to get back to work, yeah for me.

Bringing the Marina Home

We flood irrigate our back yard. The kids love to play in the water and I love how nice it makes my lawn and garden, and how much money it save me each year.

We haven't been able to enjoy our irrigation this summer due to construction on one of the main roads that cut us off from the water. They must be wrapping it up because the past two or three weeks we have had great water pressure. It's too bad that I didn't realize we had water yesterday until the evening and the kids were already in bed.

After we irrigated Big D and I went outside to sit on our swing and play in the water with our feet. I don't think we are ever going to grow up. Sitting out there I realized how much our back yard smelt like the marina. It's a good thing Big D has put the boat away for the year or it probably would have put him in the mood to go boating again. I swear that many just can't get enough fun.

We stayed outside until all the water was soaked into the ground then we went off to bed. Well, this morning I jumped up early to mow the lawn and found a puddle in the middle of my yard. I could have sworn all our water was soaked in before we went to bed, but I must have been mistaken.

Come to find out our neighbor left her irrigation on all night and flooded our yard again. It's a good thing that after we flooded our basement four times in one year we put in a fail safe. We built up the ground around our windows and put in a sort of ditch that travels down the side of our house and out the front yard into the street. If we hadn't put that in we would have had an all to familiar waterfall cascading down our wall about four in the morning.

So now instead of having to clean up a puddle in my basement all I have to do is wait for a puddle to dry up in my back yard, then I can mow my lawn. What a saving grace on my mood for the day. We averted a catastrophe, and the funny thing is when Big D and I were swinging we were talking about preparing for the next catastrophe in our life. Who knew!?!

Their Punishment or Mine

I am probably like most parents, I hate punishing my kids. I never know if I am being too strict or too lenient. And punishing a three year old is just not my cup of tea.

Bear and Bud got into Beaner's candy the other day and ate it all but one piece. When confronted with it they both denied any wrong doing. Neither one knew how the box of sour patch kids got down from the shelf and devoured. It was nice of them to leave one for Beaner.

After repeated questions of what happened and how we informed the boys that they had one more chance to confess or their punishment was going to be more severe for lying. Bud finally confessed but Bear stuck to his guns. What do you do with a three year old who in most respects doesn't understand what is going on?

The boys were grounded to the house the next day and Bear had to go to bed right after dinner that night, which was about seven in the evening. And they both had to buy Beaner a new box of sour patch kids (Not that I want her to have more sugar).

I think it was more of a punishment on me than it was him. With Lynn and Brook Jr. over, and all the kids playing video games right out side Bear's bedroom door, Bear would not stay in his room. He would come out and flash is cutest smile thinking that would melt my heart enough to forget about putting him back to bed for the tenth time.

He did a lot better with the being grounded to the house part until I turned on the irrigation and everyone was out playing in the water. It was hard for me to get my daily work done and have to remember, "Oh yeah you're not suppose to be doing that."

Bud had a class all day yesterday so he had to move his grounding to today. I don't think he's going to have a problem with it because he and Brook Jr. just play video games and cars all day. So I don't think it's even a punishment for him.

Ooh I know what I should do, I should fill up his swimming pool. All the kids will go out and play in it and Bud won't be able to. He will have to watch all the fun from the window. Maybe then it will be a punishment for him. Wow I can be a mean mom some times. I just want him to learn the importance of being honest. There are way too many dishonest people in this world and I don't want my little boys growing up to be one of them.

But why do I have to be punished as well for their misdeeds? I guess that's called parenting.

Bear had a Bit of a Bad Weekend

I don't know if Bear is going through a growing spurt that makes him a bit clumsy or if he is just going to be my kids who puts us on a first name basis with all the E.R. doctors. Out of all four of my kids Bear is the one whose already been to the E.R. more than any other.

Once for a bulging fontanel with a high fever on Thanksgiving Day in 2005, only a couple months after we brought Sweeton into the E.R. and had to leave him there. Needless to say I had a panic attack when they tried to put us in the same room as Sweeton died in.

The Nurses and Doctors kept bringing people in our room asking if they can show them boy. It's not very reassuring when the entire staff of the hospital parades through our room saying they'd never seen anything like it. Then they just sent us home and told us to give him some Tylenol for the fever, Um that's what we had been doing already.

The second visit was for a broken arm and you'll never guess where our little monkey broke his arm, at church. He was standing on the pew and fell off. That's it. We didn't even realize he'd broke his arm until an hour later when I was trying to change him into more relaxing cloths. Every time I'd touch his arm he'd start to cry. I personally thought he may have dislocated his shoulder, but we didn't know for sure so we took him to the hospital and discovered he had a green stick fracture on his right arm.

This weekend didn't result in any hospital visits, but were close to it. On Saturday we were over at my mother's house weeding her garden. The kids were running around the yard and jumping in and out of the van playing Transformers. I didn't see exactly what happened but one second Bear was in the van and the next his head was on the sidewalk and he was screaming. He'd hit so hard he had a rock embedded in his head. There was blood every where and just like all the other times he got hurt he screamed then turned real quiet. Being real quiet is not in Bears DNA so it always throws up red flags for me.

He fell asleep on the way home and I got a bit nervous because I didn't know if he had a concussion. When we got home we put him in a bath to clean him up and wake him up. We wanted to observe him to see if he started acting funny. He was his normal self so we didn't got him out and put him to bed.

On Sunday, we went over to my in-laws for our traditional Sunday dinner. Bear got a drink and was walking as he drank. He tripped over the corner of the rug and landed on the floor with the cup still in his mouth. The cup banged against the his bottom teeth and up around his face. He has a round bruise all the way up to his eyes. He got a scrape on his chin as well, which makes it look like he has one of those cartoon mustaches that curl up on the ends and a goatee. Now that it's over we can laugh about it, but I swear he is going to be our child that enjoys the inside of a hospital.

I need to convince his dad to not let him ride a motorcycle until he's at least forty.

Am I Keeping Score?

I am a stay-at-home mother, which if you read my blog, you already know. Being a stay-at-home mom gives me some freedoms that other wise would be difficult. When someone needs some thing I am more flexible to be able to help. When someone wants a babysitter, I am the first one they call. When I see someone in need, I juggle my schedule to allow time for them.

But how many times do I have to drop every thing and run off to help someone else before I can get the same treatment?

I had a dilemma, the delivery man was on his way to my house to drop off my new/used washer, and I didn't have any muscle there to help him out with the old and in with the new. I tried calling Big D but he was in a meeting and didn't answer his phone. I tried calling my brother, Brook, but he must have left his phone at home. I knew Brook and Lowell, my other brother, were together working on a project so I tried calling Lowell. They were not done with their project so it would be difficult for either of them to come. I understood that, until Lowell said some thing that stabbed me in the heart. He said, "What do you want me to do, drop every thing and run right over? It's not like you ever do that for me."

That took me off guard for a minute and I asked him, "What about the other night at 1:30 in the morning when you needed to go to the hospital and I ran up to stay with your kids?" He said that was different because it was the hospital. My situation wasn't dire enough for such heroics.

I got off the phone and all I wanted to do was cry. All he would've had to do was say he couldn't come right then, but he had to add in that last statement.

What about all I've been doing since he started working out of town half the week: taking his boys every Tuesday so Rae, Lowell's wife, can have some time to herself, trying to include Rae and the kids in activities to keep them busy until their daddy comes home from work, babysitting at the drop of a hat so Lowell and Rae can go out on a date or do volunteer work together.

I don't want to feel like I am keeping score, but when do I get a little recognition for all I've been doing for him and his family?

It's a dang good thing Brook's ex-wife showed up to pick up the kids when she did. I had to ask her to help me or I would have never been able to get the old washer out of my basement. It just really pisses me off that I had to rely on her to be the one to help me.

I wish I was a strong enough person not to let this bother me so much. I guess that is another weakness of mine that I need to learn to over come.

Bad Thing Happen in Three's

How many times have I been told, "Bad things always happen in three's". Yeah, like if I hurry and get those out of the way, every thing will be roses again. I don't think so, but I am still hoping that's the case.

I should have known when the van broke down the first time that some thing else was in the works. Definitely after the second time it broke down a red light of acknowledgment should have gone off. But no. Not until someone pointed out the other day the old wives tale of, "Bad things happen in three's" did it dawn on me.

Well, I have hit my third, and hopefully my last, bad thing. I was washing a load of laundry and my washer broke down in the middle of the cycle. I had to pull out all the cloths, hand ring them, and throw them in the dryer. Then I had to empty the water one cup at a time. I never realized how much water a washer can hold, until I had to haul it across my basement to be dumped in the shower.

At least the washer waited until I'd washed most of the laundry before breaking down. I figure if I make my kids wear one outfit a week, we may be able to last a whole month without the washer. But Big D is a bit picky about wearing his socks only once, that could pose a problem. Maybe if I fold them and put them away he will think they are clean. I might be able to get away with that once per pair.

I pray that the Lord doesn't count the van breaking down twice and one bad thing, because it's one van. I really need them to count as two, I don't think we can handle any more bad things happening for awhile. For quite awhile!

Rain, Rain, Don't Go Away

We have had a week of rain. Thank goodness it stopped for a bit on Saturday so we could get our garden planted, but as soon as we got the seeds in the ground the rain started again.

I love the rain. I love the way it cleans the air and makes it so fresh. I love the way it saves me money by not having to water my lawn, and now garden. I love driving through the huge puddles that take up the entire street and listen to my kids as they scream, "Do it again." I love the way it helps Big D's allergies subside for a bit so he can function. I love that it is going to make for an awesome summer of boating.

Rain is my friend in so many ways, except when you want to sleep outside. Bug had a camp out last night. Her teacher kept telling us to be prepared for the camp out to be cancelled if the weather didn't cooperate. They made it through the entire night, but not well rested. Bug said she got really cold during the night and realize she couldn't find her sleeping bag. She grabbed a sleeping bag thinking it was hers but discovered it felt different and realized she stole the little girls sleep bag next to her. So she gave it back and kept searching for her own, in the dark. The next morning she found it right next to her. Needless to say she is down stairs, right now, tucked into her warm cozy bed sleeping.

The camping crew actually lucked out of yesterdays spontaneous hail storm that blind sided half the city. However, this morning as they were breaking down camp their own storm started. Luckily they still had a canopy set up so they could huddle together and eat their breakfast.

Bug was so excited to go on her camp out, but she was even more excited to come home. I hope this experience doesn't rain out her adventurous streak. I don't think it will, after a nap and a hot shower she will be as good as new. And even though the rain isn't fun to camp in, unless you have a camper trailer, I still love the rain. Now after we go on our Bear Lake camping trip, in a tent this year because we can't afford the gas for the motor home, and I get rained on, I might have a small change of heart. But until then I am loving the rain.

Potty Training a Bear

I think potty training a real bear might be easier, and less violent, than potty training my Bear. He is a stubborn three year old who transforms into a little monster the instant I mention the toilet. I have been kicked, smacked, screamed at, and, if I wasn't as quick as I am, I would have been bitten as well. Why does my precious little boy treat me this way? Because I am trying to do the unthinkable, take away his diaper freedom and force him to use the ca mode.

I have to admit he is a smart little man. He is also the epitome of: if it's not his idea, it's not happening. I will be the first to admit that this is not happening.

Bear starts preschool in the fall, so we figured that gives us all summer to potty train him and get him ready to run with the big boys. Well, he's figured out this system, when I put him on the toilet he doesn't potty. Then I take him off and the instant I put his training pants on, he let's loose. I have gotten so tired of this that I've been having him stay on the toilet until he does something. The other day he sat there for two and a half hours. I don't know if that is abuse or not but I am feeling like it's abusive to me. Having to sit on that hard floor reading and singing for two and a half hours, my bum was so flat after that, and his bum had a little ring around it. It was neither pleasant for me nor for him.

I am at a lose as to what to do. I don't want to just give up, because he needs to get potty trained before school. That and I love the idea of not having to change diapers any more, the cost is killing us. I hate making him sit on that toilet for so long, but he refuses to relax and go no matter how many books I read or songs I sing, maybe he doesn't like my voice :[

We will prevail! Bear will learn that it is way more freedom using the toilet than having to lay down and wait for someone else to change him. We will save the money we spend on diapers and retire to Tuscany some day. All will be roses, as soon as I potty train a Bear.

Yard Sale

We had a yard sale on Saturday. I think last years yard sale blinded us to reality. Last year we told everyone we were having a yard sale to raise money to buy a dog, a Yorkie. I've always wanted a Yorkie but they are so expensive that I didn't think I'd ever be able to get one, that and I felt so selfish for wanting such an expensive extravagance. So I told Big D if we made enough money to buy the dog we would get her and if not I wouldn't bother him about it ever again.

Our family and friends were so great, they donated a ton of stuff to the cause. It took us the whole day before just to set up and price every thing. It was funny because customer would relate their stories of past yard sales to us. I had one lady come up and say, "I had a yard sale a couple years ago and I made $600, but I had a lot bigger stuff so I doubt you make that." Well, we ended up making $900 and the dog cost $850. Needless to say, that is how we got Kinnzi. She is really a family dog, my entire "family dog", and everyone who meets her loves her.

This year when Big D came up with the idea to have another yard sale, I think he was blinded by last years dollar signs. We didn't hit up every body for their stuff this time, let's face it we didn't have a cause this year. We just thought we could earn some money to help pay for school or our summer vacations. Any little bit will help with gas or food.

We made a profit of about $220 this year. We only had our sale for one day instead of two and we had maybe a quarter of the stuff than last year. I think that's pretty good for a mornings work.

The funny part is, just like every time we seem to have extra money, something breaks down. Well, our van is making a funny knocking noise so we have to take it back in to the mechanic. It better not cost more than $200 or we are screwed. I was really hoping last week when we got the van fixed it was going to be the last time for awhile, but it doesn't seem so.

Is all this because we paid the van off? We should have just stuck it out for the next three years and we would have been fine, at least for three years.

Tough Times

Times are getting tough for everyone. Food is getting more expensive, gas is forcing people to find other forms of transportation (or down size their cars), and Utility bills keep going up. I would make sweet profit off my home if I sold it. However, I would have to buy a house that is smaller than this one to be able to afford it. On top of every thing going up in price, it seems like every thing we own is breaking down. Big D's breaks needed to be replaced, I just got a phone call from the mechanic on my van and he says it's going to be about $900 to fix it, our toilet won't shut off unless you giggle the handle. I could go on but I am sure I am already boring you.

Times like these I have to focus on all our blessings; we have a beautiful home, all six of us are healthy, we have an extremely tight extended family. When I feel like succumbing to my whoa's I need to focus on what keeps me afloat, the things that are important to me and my family. If we don't get to take any trips this summer, so be it. If we don't get to go out to eat, so be it (that would actually help me pass off goal # 46). If we have to start huffing it on our bikes, it will get us in shape so, so be it. Life is rough for a lot of people right now, some who have it worse than I do. If we loose our home and have to move back in with my in-laws, at least we will still be together as a family. (I put that in there for my in-laws benefit,Ha Ha. They would probably move and not give us their new address if we asked to move back in :)

I am going to square my shoulders, thank the Lord for the blessings he's seen fit to bestow upon us, and enjoy my kids. Pretty soon they are going to be moving out and trying to make their way through this world. I need to help them have the best childhood no money can buy.