Am I Keeping Score?

I am a stay-at-home mother, which if you read my blog, you already know. Being a stay-at-home mom gives me some freedoms that other wise would be difficult. When someone needs some thing I am more flexible to be able to help. When someone wants a babysitter, I am the first one they call. When I see someone in need, I juggle my schedule to allow time for them.

But how many times do I have to drop every thing and run off to help someone else before I can get the same treatment?

I had a dilemma, the delivery man was on his way to my house to drop off my new/used washer, and I didn't have any muscle there to help him out with the old and in with the new. I tried calling Big D but he was in a meeting and didn't answer his phone. I tried calling my brother, Brook, but he must have left his phone at home. I knew Brook and Lowell, my other brother, were together working on a project so I tried calling Lowell. They were not done with their project so it would be difficult for either of them to come. I understood that, until Lowell said some thing that stabbed me in the heart. He said, "What do you want me to do, drop every thing and run right over? It's not like you ever do that for me."

That took me off guard for a minute and I asked him, "What about the other night at 1:30 in the morning when you needed to go to the hospital and I ran up to stay with your kids?" He said that was different because it was the hospital. My situation wasn't dire enough for such heroics.

I got off the phone and all I wanted to do was cry. All he would've had to do was say he couldn't come right then, but he had to add in that last statement.

What about all I've been doing since he started working out of town half the week: taking his boys every Tuesday so Rae, Lowell's wife, can have some time to herself, trying to include Rae and the kids in activities to keep them busy until their daddy comes home from work, babysitting at the drop of a hat so Lowell and Rae can go out on a date or do volunteer work together.

I don't want to feel like I am keeping score, but when do I get a little recognition for all I've been doing for him and his family?

It's a dang good thing Brook's ex-wife showed up to pick up the kids when she did. I had to ask her to help me or I would have never been able to get the old washer out of my basement. It just really pisses me off that I had to rely on her to be the one to help me.

I wish I was a strong enough person not to let this bother me so much. I guess that is another weakness of mine that I need to learn to over come.