Mesa, Az Temple

On Big D and I's trip to Phoenix I got to go to the temple in Mesa. It was beautiful. I was surprised to not see an angel Moroni on top but I do know there are a couple temples that don't have one.



Of course, the grounds are kept exceptionally nice. Beautiful flowers just pop with all the dry brown background. It looks like an oasis in the middle of the desert.



There were palm trees all over Phoenix but for some reason they were just more beautiful on the temple grounds.



In the back there was the petrified log sitting there. It was a gift and it used to be about 100 feet long, if I remember right. But it looks so cool, it looks like a log but it is solid rock.



I loved the reflection pool, it was calming, almost as calming as the inside was. There was an incident inside though. A young nursing mother was fasting and she passed out. They had to call paramedics to come help her. They said when she woke up she was complaining that she couldn't feel her hands. It was weird to see people who didn't belong in the temple. But it didn't take away from my wonderful day.

Lord's Hand in July 2009

7/30/09~ And we're off. We are leaving for Bear Lake this morning. We are just waiting for my brother Itch's kids so they can ride in the RV with us. It's a good thing we had to wait for them or the kids would've had Big D talked into leaving last night and it wasn't helping when my sisters called and said they were already there. Sometimes, I tell you what, sometimes.

7/29/09~ Trying to get ready for Bear Lake; I didn't get out of bed until about 11 a.m. and then after my shower at 3 p.m. I got back into be for another hour. It a productive day if you ask me. My kids are the ones to blame for it all. They jumped on me in bed this morning so what else could I do? I had to wrestle with them like and angry bear trying to fight for its berries by the river. And then after I got out of the shower Bug was laying on my bed waiting for me so we could "talk". Of course, that turned into a repeat of the morning conflict once all the kids realized I was back in bed. No, it was more like 'on' bed.

7/28/09~ We had our first person come and look at the house. I don't think she was too interested which is a bit of a blow. I think my house if fabulous and I think everyone should feel the same. It's been a bit of a humbling day.

7/27/09~ I made it to the gym today. I think in the past month I've been two maybe three times. We've been running around all summer and it's reeking havoc on my workout routine. It's funny how fast you lose it if you don't use it. I am wore out and I didn't even do anything that strenuous. I hope I get back into it quickly, I can't afford to just nap every day all day after I go to the gym. I have decided to take this semester off from school to help get everyone settled after the move. I don't know exactly when the actual move is going to take place. If I had my way we'd do it before school started but I'm afraid it will happen right when everyone goes back. I didn't think it was fair to make everyone move and then be distracted with school. Someone needs to help everyone unpack. Plus, it's a bit more important that Big D can focus on his schooling. He's almost done. If every thing goes according to plan, which it never does, he should be done next year. YEAH!

7/26/09~ Big D's niece Annie came into town. I haven't seen her in forever. She looks so much like her dad. I wish she knew how beautiful she is. We had a nice family dinner over at my in-laws. That is the best Sunday to me: church, good dinner and good conversation. Papa Ray likes to rub it in that he is retired now and he doesn't have to get up and go to work the next day like everyone else. Grandma Ellen has until the end of August before she gets to retire and I think she's a bit nervous. Papa is a mover, he doesn't sit still. Just in the week since he's been retired they've repainted their house, started filling out papers to go on a mission, and took Kathy to a tri-atholon. Grandma says she's looking forward to going to work tomorrow so she can sit down and rest for a minute.

7/25/09~ My Aunt Patty's family is in charge of the family reunion this year. They did a carnival theme which had to take a ton of time to get organized. They had a cotton candy machine, snow cone machine, face painting and tons of games. The kids, big and small, all had fun. Brook helped out with the face painting on his kids. TT wanted a motorcycle on his forehead so Brook painted him a crown. It was so hot that he got a sunburn in the shape of the crown, it was hilarious to everyone but TT. Next year my Aunt Colleen's family is in charge and they announced we are going to play Survivor. I think that's a great idea for a theme I can't wait.

7/24/09~ We are having a camp out in our backyard. My mom's family reunion is tomorrow so family from out of town need a place to stay. We started doing it a couple years ago just because I didn't have enough room in my house to accommodate everyone and now it has turned into a sensation. We start a fire in our fire pit and roast hot dogs and marshmallows, and of course end up stinking like fire the rest of the night. All the kids roll all over each other through out the night on the trampoline, it's great fun. This year we didn't have as many people but just as much fun.

7/23/09~ Our dryer gave up the ghost. We've known it was coming for awhile now and like everything else it waited until the best possible time to die. I have been trying to do our laundry from Boston and camping, we are talking mountains. So now I've hauled it all over to my in-laws, which I'm pretty sure they are excited about, and I get to sit over there all day until my Mount Everest is clean. I'm thinking about throwing half the cloths away just to save some time and torture. I mean come on who needs that many cloths?

7/22/09~ We've started cleaning and packing. We've decided to try our hand at renting our house out. If it all works out then in about eight years when our current home is paid off we can either sell it and pay our new house off or we can take the rental $$$ and use it to pay our new house payment. That is if we survive renters for that long. We figure if we just don't like renting we'll put it on the market and sell it. Hopefully we can at least wait until the market goes back up so we can get top dollar out of our home. That is the plan today anyway.

7/21/09~ Brook, Andy, Lowell, Big D and I all went to the temple. Rae was going to go but I think it was just too soon to leave the baby, maybe next time we missed her. I love hanging out with my family, we are hilarious. I think I laughed the entire way to and from the temple and believe me I needed it. I never remembered buying a house being so stressful. It was nice to get away from the real world, meditate and laugh.

7/20/09~ Our offer was accepted, YEAH! Now I have three months to sell my home, oh crap. That is a lot of work in not very much time. Plus, we start school in a month, oh crap. I am going to sit out a semester to get every thing settled but I still have to worry about Big D and his schooling. He isn't going to be any help once school starts, not that I blame him. I have to make this transition as smooth as possible for him so he can focus on his classes. I don't think I realized what I was getting myself into. They say that moving is stressful on a marriage, I guess we're about to find out first hand.

7/19/09~ We put an offer on the house across the street. It's funny how not excited I feel when reality creeps in. I've been so excited to get every thing moving, we've been working on this since about April or May. This whole time its really just been a dream, but now it feels more real and I have to ask myself, "Is this the best thing for my family?" I know I've wanted the house for years, but that doesn't mean my family has wanted it. At what point am I being selfish?

7/18/09~ We went boating, again. Apparently when you let your kids celebrate their birthdays for an entire week, the hubby thinks he gets too also. I almost snapped my ankle when we were bringing the boat in. We were coming into the dock and going a bit faster than I thought. I put my foot out to stop the boat before it hit the dock and it folded and popped. Now I'm limping like an eighty-year-old. It's a good thing in happened at the end of our day.

7/17/09~ Happy Birthday Big D!!! Big D has been working funky hours all week. He ended up getting all his hours in in four days and was able to take today off. He went golfing and boating, I hope he feels just how special he is to all of us.

7/16/09~ We had our Primary activity today. We did a little bike parade down to a ward members house where we proceeded to play games and dig for gold (rocks painted gold). I think we picked the hottest day of the week to do this parade, but I think all the kids had fun and no one passed out for heat exhaustion so we're good. I'm so glad it's all over with, one less thing to worry about especially when all I want to do is focus on the house.

7/15/09~ We have been doing 4H all week and I am really enjoying it. I do feel a bit guilty because I am suppose to be helping teach to sew, but I don't have a clue, so I am more like one of the students. I am really having fun learning how to sew though. I sewed a pair of PJ bottoms all by myself, yeah for me. Bug was a little ticked when she walked in and saw that I had them all done. She thought I sewed hers and now she had nothing to sew, but I didn't.

7/14/09~ Big D has been working nights this week. I forgot how hard that is on the family and him. Yesterday he was gone from 9 a.m. to about 4 a.m. Poor Bear kept asking when daddy was going to be home. I'm sooooo glad he doesn't have to do this all the time.

7/13/09~ The kids started 4H today. They are all excited to sew their pillow cases, Bug gets to sew PJ's and model them at the fair. I am just hoping to be able to pick up some sewing tips, I'm clueless. I went to the gym for the first time in about a month, it's amazing how fast you get sent back to square one, it wiped me out for the rest of the day. I think some of it was that it was my first official day to relax after all that traveling and my body screamed, "STOP".

7/12/09~ My first Sunday back, it's nice to know they haven't fired me from Primary Secretary yet. It was my turn for Sharing Time and the lady who was suppose to conduct didn't show up so I did that too. I feel like I have to pay a penance for being gone the last three weeks. It sure is nice to be home again, I think I've said that before.

7/11/09~ We went boating today, YEAH! It's only our second time all summer to go boating and I think Big D is more excited than anyone. He invited Brook and Andy to go with us but they needed to clean Andy's house out for the new renters moving in so Big D volunteered all of us to go help clean so they could go boating with us. First off, isn't he such a sweet guy, and second, I sure love him and his child-like excitement. Poor Bud, he's still a bit traumatized about the rafting incident. He had a hard time relaxing and enjoying the trip. The first chance he got to get out of the boat he jumped, if I remember right that's what got him in this state to begin with. He'll get over it, we just have to be patient and keep taking him out on boats.

7/10/09~ Man we come home and hit the ground running. We have a ward party tonight, that I have to help with. Plus, we are getting together over at my mom's house to weed her garden, it's more like a jungle. It's nice to be missed though, I've had almost every one of my siblings call and tell me how glad they are that I'm finally home for a bit. I have to be honest I'm pretty happy to be home too. I am a creature of habit and I love routine, until I'm bored of it, but until then I love it and I love being missed.

7/9/09~ Our last day, YEAH! I am so excited to go home and have a rest from all my vacations, well at least for two weeks. Big D and Brook took everyone down to the gravel pits to ride four wheelers and 50's while I volunteered to stay behind and start packing up camp. It is so nice to have some piece and quiet for a bit. I don't even mind that I have to work while I enjoy it.

7/8/09~ My brother, Brook, and his family joined us in Island Park. It's a good thing he decided to come up or we would have had to go home, Ann has to get home for work. So Ann took Brook's truck home and Brook will ride home with us in the RV. We took a wet ride out to Big Springs. I say wet because it rained on us on the way there and was scorching hot on the way back. But the clouds did wait until we were to Big Springs and all huddled in the restrooms before they opened up and decided to dump on us. It was rather comical, half of us trying to stay dry and the other half rotating through the potty.

7/7/09~ We took a four wheeler ride over to Uncle Tim's new cabin and had lunch. His wife, Julie, is an administrator at a culinary school, she is an awesome cook. I was a bit disappointed when we got there and found out we were having hot dogs, really!?! Big D took me back to this place he found for me to take pictures when we were up there for Christmas. I wanted to take some pictures of it in the summer, it's not as pretty in the summer.

7/6/09~ We went rafting again, this time down the Henry's Fork. It is a very slow shallow river and Bud needs to get back in the boat before total phobia of water sets in. I felt bad because Bud could not relax and enjoy the ride. Every time he saw anything sticking out of the water he had to make sure everyone knew about it. He did get out of the boat a couple times and help push or pull in some of the more shallow parts. I think his adventurous side is coming back.

7/5/09~ We left Montana and headed to Island Park for our family reunion. I love being in the middle of natures goodness. It is so refreshing to be in such raw surroundings, as long as I have my RV with a working shower and toilet, good times.

7/4/09~ Today we went to the pond by our friends house. We took Kinnzi with us and she did great in the raft, it's a good thing we didn't take her floating down the river yesterday she wouldn't baled too. Just like at the water park we got blown out of the pond and had to hurry to load the rafts, and the kids, before they blew away. The fireworks were uneventful, no kids got burned this year, yeah! Actually it's kind of a bad thing being uneventful, now I don't have any funny stories to share.

7/3/09~ We floated the Madison River today. We had ten kids and five adults. We managed to cram everyone into five rafts & tubes. It was a bit nerve racking to have some of the little ones in boats by themselves so we tied four of the five together in a long train. About half way down the river there is a huge pylon sticking out of the water from an old bridge, you know where this is going don't you? We wrapped around the pylon and Bug yelled, "Bale". Needless to say, Bud chose that moment to start listening to his sister and jumped over board. The river is only knee deep through out most the river, but fast moving. In the spot Bud chose to bale it was only ankle deep and he raked his knees on the rocks. He was freaked out the rest of the ride down the river. I think he layed on my chest most of it. Bug got a stern talking too after that one. Auntie Ann slipped on some rocks as we were pulling out and really cracked her knee pretty hard. It's all swollen and leaking fluids, gross. We call her hop along now.

7/2/09~ We took the kids to the same water park we went to last year. I think it is so awesome that it's free. We so need something like this back home. It wasn't too crowded that it was annoying. We did have to pack up and run to the cars because a thunderstorm blew in, that's Montana. Bug tried to have a water fight, which only worked until I got in the water. I guess it was her way of getting me to enjoy the fun too, the little stinker. I found a sewing machine for my mom. It wasn't as nice as the one I found for her in Boston but it will do. My mom has always wanted one of those antique sewing machines that don't take electricity. I don't know their technical name. I found one for her in Boston for $185 in mint condition. It was going to cost us between $300 and $500 to ship it home, so that was a no go. In Montana I found one close to the same condition for $325 and I talked them down to $290. I think she'll like it.

7/1/09~ We left for Montana today, YEAH! Our first trip in our Yukon, still a little nervous about the wheels. My sister Ann is traveling with us, she hasn't traveled with us since before her mission. We have estimated our travel time to be three movies long. I think the kids will survive, lets hope the dog does as well. Kinnzi is super excited to be going with us this time.

Lord's Hand in June 2009

6/30/09~ We had our first people come look through our house last night. It was amazing how fast we cleaned the house when we heard they were coming over. Okay, maybe not clean as much as shove stuff under beds and in closets, lets hope they don't want to look in the closet. ;0) I realized it's going to take a lot of work to sell my house. I don't know if Big D is up for all that work, especially with how much traveling we still have to do this summer. I guess it will push us to work hard and fast in between trips and before school starts.

6/29/09~ Trying to get ready to leave for another two weeks and I'm still trying to recover from the last two weeks I was gone. The grass in our backyard was a foot and a half tall. I got so bored mowing it, because I had to empty the bag with every two seconds, that I started carving stuff in the lawn like, "I Love You" and a track for the boys' trucks. It was fun, but now I have to re mow because some of the lawn was so tall all I did was lay it over. I've also been pulling weeds in my garden. The weeds are two feet tall. I will be lucky to get any vegetation out of the garden this year. The funny thing is every summer I think, "Ok, maybe this summer isn't going to be as busy." I am wrong every year.

6/28/09~ Lowell and Rae blessed their new little girl, Madie, today. Of course Lowell told us where the blessing was to take place and I still got it wrong. We all walked into a church and there was no family there. We found the right building and sat down seconds before the Bishop announced the blessing. Good timing! Madie is a doll! She was even really good during the bless, as soon as Lowell said, "Amen" she started screaming. Another lady in the family with good timing I see.

6/27/09~ We celebrated Bud's birthday with a trip out to eat with a friend, a long with our big family birthday. It was Jay and Ape's turn for the family birthday party this year and Jay being a firefighter, we had a fireman theme at the fire house. It turned out awesome. It was every little boys fantasy come true. It was fun to watch the kids go through some drills. Then it was the big boys turn. Lowell, Jay, Brook, and Big D had to make it a competition to see who could get through the course the fastest. I think Lowell ended up winning, but that's just because Jay only did it once everyone else went two or three times. It's going to be hard to top this years party, good luck Brook and Andy.

6/26/09~ Today is Bud's birthday. I miss my kids so much. I can't get home fast enough. I scrolled through my pictures on my laptop as I was flying into Phoenix and I got all choked up. I probably shouldn't have done that. It wasn't any better that as I was in Phoenix Big D was in Chicago. I missed him too and we'd just spent a week and a half together. Lowell called me as I was waiting for my connection in Phoenix. He asked where Big D was and when I told him he said, "Wow, when you need your space you really need your space." I had to laugh. That was the cost of extending my vacation, we couldn't fly home together. I left Boston and hour and a half before Big D and he made it in to SLC twenty minutes before me. So it all worked out nicely. His was the first face I saw when I stepped off the plane, as it should be.

6/25/09~ We left Newburyport to stay in downtown Boston for the night. We are hoping that helps with our early morning flight. So instead of having to wake up at 3 a.m. we will have to wake at 4 a.m. I know I'm excited for that extra hour too. We went down to Quincy Market and saw a "Cheers" bar. I don't think it was the real deal but someone said that it was where they filmed the show. I guess there is a different bar that they actually patterned the show off of, but since we aren't bar people we really didn't seek it out. But I did love the show "Cheers".

6/24/09~ Today was a bit interesting. The lady that is traveling with us needed a prop for her presentation so I had a mission for the day. I punched info into my Lola and she sent me into downtown Lawrence, about twenty minutes away. I didn't think too much of it until I had to walk two blocks to get to the store. On my jaunt I passed by a parking lot with about half a dozen gang bangers and their thumping music. I couldn't just turn around as soon as I saw them, I'd draw attention to myself, so I kept walking. The problem with that is I had to pass them again on my way to my car. No need to fear a prayer of, "Please keep me safe. Please keep me safe." made me invisible to the evil, at least that is what I'm telling myself. I almost asked some construction workers on the street to walk me to my car, but I had an even better chaperon. Oh, and the store didn't even have what I needed. I hurried back to my comfort zone and stayed there the rest of the day. It kind of put a wrench in my adventurous side. I'm looking forward to going home soon.

6/23/09~ I drove along the coast all the way up to Maine. Some of those houses, WOW! I had to pull over and take pictures a couple times. I found an abandon lighthouse, at least that what I think it looks like. I had to stop and just watch the surfers brave the waves. It's been raining the whole time I've been here but it hasn't got me down. It's a different kind of rain, it feels more like a mist in the air than rain drops. Don't get me wrong it knows how to to the big drops too. When I got up to Maine I toured the grounds of one of the first ship dudes in the area, John Hamilton. He lived on the edge of a beautiful lake with some amazing views. On my way back I stopped at a roadside street vendor. I wanted to buy some maple syrup, but I didn't think that would be very fun to take home on the plane. So I bought some mango pepper jelly and I don't think it's going to make it to the plane. Big D and I have been enjoying it way too much.

6/22/09~ I saw my first Hollywood film crew, in the middle of Essex, MA. They are filming a Adam Sandler, Salma Hayak, and Chris Rock movie over here. It's beautiful enough, I bet they film a lot of movies over here. It's just new to me. I also went Antique shopping today. A couple stores I don't think there was anything under $1000. A little too rich for my blood. I've met a lot of really neat people. Every where I go there are people from all over the world. I love it!

6/21/09~ We went into Boston today and went to the Museum of Fine Arts. Wow, I am so amazed. I got to see my first "real" Monet, Von Gogh, Renoir, Titan, and many many more. We also went to a ladies house that she built after a Venitican palace. Isabella Stewart Gardner traveled all over the world collecting art. She built this house to display and share her art with others. She lived in the house up until she passed away in 1924. We were laughing about some empty frames they had hanging, one said Rembrandt on it. We jokingly said maybe someone stole them. On our way out we asked a tour guide and sure enough she said there was a break in about ten years. Two guys dressed as Boston police to get through the door. They tied the two security guards up in the basement and had the house to themselves. They got away with a lot of very valuable stuff, including the TWO Rembrandt. After that museum we went over to the Boston Commons and say all the old brownstones. I am so amazed at how beautiful every thing is around here. They have taken great lengths to preserve our history over here. I could be here for a month and not see and experience every thing.

6/20/09~ We went whale watching today. There was about ten to twelve Humpback Whales about thirty miles off the coast. We followed a mother and her calf most of the time. We got to see a full breech (when they jump out of the water) about twenty yards away from our boat. Even the tour guide was amazed. She confessed that they don't see that every day. I got to meet the lady that is over Big D's training, we invited her to spend the day with us. She is from South Africa and invited us to come stay at her cottage. Wow, what an invitation. We also made it to the Salem Witch Museum. That was very interesting! I knew a little about it but I didn't know that it was all started because one little girl, Ann Putnam, was bored. After about a dozen people were hung and many others imprisoned she felt guilty to come enough to come forward and apologize.

6/19/09~ I have been taking tons of pictures today. There are so many churches here that are just amazing. I got some advice on a hot spot for beautiful churches, downtown Amesbury. They weren't lying. Ten churches all in about a two mile radius of each other, and they are all different denominations. The only thing that stinks is the weather, it's been over cast and rainy so my pictures probably won't turn out too good but I sure have had a great time taking them. I found an old cemetery and walked around taking pictures. I got to the back of the cemetery where all the really old old headstones are. I was taking pictures and I started sinking in the mud. Oh baby, that freaked me out. I thought I was going to break through some two hundred year old casket and be laying with the early settlers.

6/18/09~ My first day on my own. I would have a lot harder time with this if I didn't have Lola, my GPS. I've loved exploring all the back country, the non-tourist areas. I've seen tons of beautiful homes and yards. I don't know how anyone could not have a beautiful yard here, it's so green. I've found some architectural salvage stores that I could get addicted too if I lived here.

6/17/09~ Our flight was fun. Big D slept and I couldn't quit looking out the window, even when all I could see was the clouds. Did you know there are more clouds above the clouds? I loved seeing the landscape, when the clouds would part. I don't know which state we were flying over but it looked like a beautiful quilt with straight lines that went on and on and on. At O'Hara Airport we were offered vouchers to take a later flight, so now Big D and I have $600 of free airline tickets to any where. By the time we got into Boston I was excited to get to the hotel but I couldn't get over all the beautiful things to see. I was glad I wasn't driving.

6/16/09~ I am off to Boston, wish me luck. I'm a bit worried about traveling by myself. I've even had some nightmares about it lately. But I will survive and I will have a great time. I just hope I don't forget anything. And yes it looks like I am going to have to wear my neck brace on the plane but that's okay. If it helps me to be able to enjoy my trip with very little pain it's worth it. It was cute, when I was packing Kinnzi could totally tell something big was getting ready to happen. I walked in the room and found her curled up inside my luggage. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do that when someone was traveling without me.

6/15/09~ I've been able to take my neck brace off for an hour here and there. I end up with throbbing headaches if I keep it off for too long. I'm going to look like an idiot if I have to wear this thing on the plane. At least I'm getting some movement back in my neck. It is funny, Bug has had to be my eyes when I'm driving, which probably isn't the safest thing to do. I just have to have her look left and right for me when we come to a turn. I took my niece and nephews to the park to get lunch and they thought it was so fun to watch Bug help that they all wanted to help. I had to fire them all, too many chiefs.

6/14/09~ I know I was whining yesterday about my neck, and yes I am still in immense pain, but I think the Lord is helping me to recoup quickly. I made it through church and I didn't think I would. Big D was telling everyone that I didn't do the dishes right and now I learned my lesson. I told people I was just wearing my neck brace to help my posture.

6/13/09~ My neck went out on me again. Leave it to the worst possible time, just like last time. It always seems to happen right before we leave on a trip. Last time it was a couple days before we left for Montana and this time it's a couple days before we leave to Boston. I am so pissed! We are trying every thing we can think of to get my neck up to par: muscle cream, massage, my neck brace. I can't believe this is happening now. Why can't my neck go out in the middle of the winter when we aren't going anywhere or doing anything? Someone must think this is really funny.

6/12/09~ The day I knew was coming, my computer crashed. It's been acting funny for a few weeks now but I haven't had the resources to do anything about it. I feel bad because Brook's been using my computer to look for a job and now I can't help him. After we get home from Boston hopefully I will be able to take it in to the computer doctor and they will fix all the boo boos.

6/11/09~ All this rain is really putting a damper on our summer plans. We came up with a summer motto, we actually made an adaptation from Dora's famous song on Finding Nemo: "Just keep swimming swimming swimmin". Our summer motto is, "Just keep moving moving moving". We've been playing kickball, Frisbee golf, taking walks, etc. We've been trying to just keep moving.

6/9/09~ We took the Yukon in to the auto body shop today. Next time we see her she will be all pretty again and no more boo boo, at least that's what I had to tell Big D as we drove away and he had to take a last look over his shoulder. He is so ready for this whole ordeal to be over and it will be, soon.

6/8/09~ My sister Ann was up visiting for the weekend and she went home today. It's always sad when my sisters leave. A little piece of my heart twinges with longing for them to stay. I guess I should just be grateful they only live a few hours away and not on the other side of the U.S. We had a great week because my sister Marie came home the first half of the week. I hope they both feel loved when they come home and missed when they leave.

6/7/09~ We put on a Baptism for one of our young ladies from Primary. It was really nice. We were suppose to do it yesterday but everyone was at TOFW so we moved it. I hope Amber, the young lady, felt special. She had a wonderful turn out and a lot of support.

6/6/09~ I went to TOFW today with my mom, Grandma Lovely, and my mother-in-law, Grandma Ellen. We had a great time! Our wells are definitely full. It was a little sad, the last time I went to one of these I had my two sister-in-laws with me. I felt a twinge of loneliness not having them with me. Who knows maybe some day they will want to come with me again. Until then I will enjoy whom ever comes with me.

6/5/09~ I ran Itch around town to run his errands and to pick up his kids. He does so much better when he has his kids. I've been very impressed how he's doing with them. He has been so gentle with them and he's really stepped up and tried to help them through the divorce. He is a rock. Grandma Lovely, Grandma Ellen, and I went to our first session of TOFW tonight. I haven't been able to go to the gym for the past few days so I was pretty antsy the whole night. I had to come home and run the track for a bit. I am stoked to go to the rest of the conference tomorrow. I need to remember tissues, I got choked up about ten times tonight.

6/4/09~ Itchy cut his hand pretty bad and had to have surgery. It really freaked us out because it took awhile to get the full story as to what happened. Here is what happened from his lips. He was at home carving a piece of wood, he is very talented, when one of his chisels slipped an went into his thumb cutting a nerve and an artery. He knew it was pretty bad so he cleaned it up and drove himself to the ER where they told him he needed surgery to repair the damage. At one point we thought he hurt himself at work. My sister, Marie, called from SLC and asked why Itch was carving and driving at the same time; she said that when you say there's been an accident it means a car is involved. So apparently a "carving accident" equals driving and carving. It's nice to have something to laugh about. He's doing well. He's pretty bummed, it seems like he just keeps getting kicked while he's down. He's not giving up, I'm so proud of him; he's come a long way in the last few months.

6/2/09~ I fear Big D and I are going to fall into old habits. We've been so excited about not having to go to bed at a certain time that we've been staying up till the wee hours of the morn. I went to bed and midnight then got up at 5 a.m. to go to the gym, the rest of the day I was toast. I can't do that anymore if I want to keep going to the gym.

6/1/09~ Our first official Monday of Summer and all we did was run errands. We did get lunch in the park, which I love but we weren't able to stay and play. I had to take the Yukon around to get quotes to get fixed. When the tire flew off it caused some body damage and Les Schwab is going to pay to fix it.

Lord's Hand in May 2009

5/31/09~ I have Sharing Time in Primary. It is my second time and it didn't go nearly as smooth as the first time. The kids were a bit rowdy and I think I had way too many scriptures. It's nice to learn what works and what does not.

5/30/09~ We planted Grandma Lovely's garden tonight. It was the perfect day for it; the cloud cover and the light rain it cooled all of us down and made the work fun.

5/29/09~ School's Out For The Summer!!!! We decided to celebrate with a boat trip. We invited Brook and his family to join us. Let's face it, fun is way more fun with more people. Big D was excited to see how the Yukon pulled the boat. He just had the tires rotated the day before and wanted to see how the Yukon did on the freeway again. We got to the top of the boat ramp and our drivers side front wheel came off and rolled into the lake. Needless to say we were pretty ticked, but relieved that no one was hurt.

5/27/09~ The girls had Passage Ceremony tonight. It's like a mini graduation for the next grade. I'm glad that we had our kids two years apart so we only have to go to Passage Ceremony every other year. They did a slide show at the end and after the sixth song started I leaned over to Big D and said, "Let's Go".

5/26/09~ I don't know if Big D just got tired of eight people in a mini van but we ended up stopping in Boise and purchasing a Yukon XL. It is pretty and Big D hasn't quit smiling.

5/25/09~ We are up in Washington for Kelly's wedding. She looked so beautiful and the wedding went off without a hitch, that is if you don't count an ER visit. Ken's oldest daughter, Savannah, got a little overwhelmed with everything and passed out. It was a good thing Lindsey was standing right next to her to catch her. They took her to the hospital and the doctor said she just had a panic attack. He let her out of the hospital for the wedding and then they had to take her back for observations. Other than that every thing was great.

5/24/09~ We went to Sacrament Meeting with Aunt Pat. It's nice that no matter where we go the church is the same. It's very comforting knowing that even on vacation you can feel a little piece of home. We got back to the hotel and the kids swam for four hours. I think I gave birth to water babies.

5/23/09~ Happy Birthday Kinnzi, she is now two years old and still thriving. We took her into the lady I bought her from to for her birthday. Kelly, the breeder, was so happy to see her and see how well she is doing. Kelly was really reluctant to sell us Kinnzi because we still had such small kids, which I don't blame her small kids can be rough. It was nice to go in and show her that we haven't hurt Kinnzi and in fact she is such a part of our family that we try and take her every where we go.
We left on our trip to Washington. Eight hours in a mini van full of eight people, lets hope we all survive the trip.

5/22/09~ Beaner had her Passages today, but I didn't get to go in with her. I let Big D go in since I got to go in with Bug. I bet she did great though, because just like with Bug, Beaner practiced with us a lot and every time she did better and better. I am so proud of my little ladies. What a lucky mom I am to have two beautiful and smart young ladies. They were both so relieved when passages were finally over, I don't blame them. I am really liking how this school teaches kids at a young age to public speak and learn to articulate themselves. Beaner is definitely gaining more confidence where in public school she was melting into the back ground.

5/21/09~ Bug had Passages today, which is where students stand up in front of a panel and present at least three projects they worked on through out the year. They kind of make it feel like if you don't do well on your Passages you won't make it to the next grade, but in reality if you are doing you Passages you've already made it. Bug did so good I was so proud of her. As we were walking out she confessed that she really didn't want me to go in with her because she was scared that if she messed up I'd be mad at her. How preposterous, I could never be made about some thing like that. She did the best she could and that is what I'm proud of. She practiced numerous time with Big D and I and she did even better than all those practices.

5/20/09~ Feeling much better today. We've had construction going on down our street for over a week now. The boys are in heaven. Today they were working right in front of our house so we had to get our pillows out for our bums to sit on the stoop and watch. The boys wanted to ride on the tractors so bad. I think one may grow up to play with really big toys.
We are initiating our summer of fun and activity. Our motto this summer is inspired from Dora on the movie "Finding Nemo". When Dora sings, "Just keep swimming, swimming" we've taken that and sing, "Just keep moving, moving". We've been trying to find fun things to do to stay active with our family. Big D has discovered Frisbee golf, which we've done a handful of times already. Tonight to change things up we went and played kickball and took a walk. I hope we keep this up all summer.

5/19/09~ I was down all day with an ear ache. I don't know what's wrong but I feel like I'm two again. This is the second ear ache I've had in the last month. It was ticking me off to have to lay on a heat pad all day. I was so bored while my family went and played Frisbee golf. It's just not fare! I figured since I was feeling like I was two again...

5/18/09~ They are replacing the water main down the center of our street this week. Actually they've been doing it for two weeks now. Today Bear and I are sprawled out on a blanket watching all the tractors do their stuff. He is such a boy. He had to go in the backyard and get his bulldozer to play with in the dirt so he could be like all the contractors. He makes me smile.
Today at the gym I ran the equivalent of a 5k. I was so dead that afterward we tried to go lift weights and as soon as my friend said she was leaving I waited till she was out the door then I packed it in. Holy Cow my legs are so dead. I don't know how people do marathons. I have one friend who ran a 1/2 marathon when she turned thirty as a present to herself. Is she crazy? That's not a present, that's torture. Who knows maybe that the next stop on my crazy train.
5/17/09~ We were in a bit of a rush to get home from Salt Lake. I really wanted to make it in time for church at 1p.m. I'd missed the week before because I went to church with my mom for Mother's Day and I'm not going to be here next weekend because of my cousins wedding in Washington. I didn't want to leave the rest of the presidency high and dry for three weeks in a row. We were a bit late but we made it. Yeah!

5/16/09~ My mom, I and my cousin D all stayed at the hotel Brook and Andy were going to stay at for their honeymoon. My dad ended up getting the happy couple a lodge in Yellowstone and it was too late to cancel their hotel in Salt Lake. My mom, sisters, cousin and I all went down and paid for the room to help Brook and Andy out. It was a nice adventure.

5/15/09~ Brook and Andy got married today. Boy was it a long day for everyone. We started with Brook's endowments, which was so nice. I loved seeing him in the temple. You could tell he was a bit overwhelmed with it all though. It's okay he can go back as often as he'd like to get a handle on it all. We went right into the sealing room and watched them become husband and wife for all eternity, AWESOME. The open house was at my church building so I had the keys. I lost track of time and by the time I got back to the church tons of people were standing in the parking lot waiting for me to unlock the doors. Oops! After the open house me and my mom had an impromptu trip to Salt Lake City. Wow, what a long day. Thank you to everyone who helped with the clean up. I was a bit nervous at how long it was going to take me but it went really fast with so many hands. Thanks!

5/14/09~My cousin, D, came up for the wedding. She is such a life saver; Big D and I were wondering what we were going to do with our kids while we were in the temple. The day we started discussing one of us staying home she called and asked if she could stay with us and watch our kids. She must have been listening to the spirit.

5/13/09~ Ann is up for the wedding and she brought home my girls. I thought I wasn't going to see them until tomorrow morning but here they are. Oh, I missed them so much. I tried not to focus on them being gone so I didn't go crazy. But now that they are home I can't quit kissing and hugging and tickling them. I didn't realize how much I missed them until they got home.

5/12/09~ Yeah, it worked! I feel so much better today. I actually made it to the gym this morning after taking a week off. I still took it a bit easy, I only ran two miles and came home, but I feel great. The migraine I've had for a week is not there today. Apparently it climaxed yesterday and then left my head. OH THANK YOU!

I only have two more days until my girls come home. I am so excited!!! I've been talking to them on the phone almost every day but it's not the same as having them here. I want to hug them and have them be my snuggle buddy for at least an hour per child. I figure they owe me that much.
Big D and I got our grades, we both got all A's. We were so excited. This was an exceptionally tough semester for Big D. He didn't think he was going to get one A let alone two. I am so proud of him.

5/11/09~ I told myself that I had one more day to be sick and that's it. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I've had the worse migraine today. I've been tempted to wear my sunglasses inside as well as outside. I was hoping this sickness was one of those ones that if you push yourself to get up and move around you'll feel better, but I might've been wrong. I took it easy and slept. It better work because tomorrow I am exorcising the demons.

5/10/09~ Happy Mother's Day! My mother's day gift was my trip, and what a great one it was. Today I went to church with my mom and cooked dinner for my mother-in-law. I really should learn my lesson with cooking for my in-laws, every time something goes wrong; the food is under cooked, the ingredients didn't come together like they should, or like yesterday, I blow up a glass lid. I don't know if I just get nervous about cooking for them or what, but every time without exception something goes wrong. It's a good thing my mother-in-law is so gracious about all my disasters. She hasn't fired me from being her daughter-in-law yet.

5/9/09~ It's a good thing I came home early because I came down with what ever it was that Big D was suffering from the first of the week. I barely made it home. I stopped at the store and got some cold medicine, and I tried to find some that didn't say "may cause drowsiness". However, I had the darnest time keeping myself awake on the drive home. I had to pull over a couple times just to get up and get my blood pumping. I got home and went right to bed. I did pull myself out of bed to go to the bridal shower, but I seriously had my doubts on if I'd make it through.

5/8/09~ I decided to come home from SLC a day early. Andy is having a bridal shower tomorrow and no other sister from Brook's family can make it to the shower so I have to represent. Ann and I picked her out a great gift. When she opens her gift she will see a granny nightgown then the second layer will be a sexy nightie and Ann thought it was a little short and didn't like the idea that it didn't have any panties, so I found some floss panties and they will be on the third layer. I really think we out did ourselves. It will be a little awkward having her open it with my grandma sitting next to her.
I took the boys to Hogle Zoo before heading out of town. We had a great time wandering around seeing all the animals. Bud was excited to see the penguins, that's what he's been learning about in school. He was more excited to see the penguins then the bears or alligators. We ended our visit with a nice little train ride, ate some lunch, then got on the road home.

5/7/09~ I spent the day with my sisters, Marie had to work part of the day so Ann and I went and took her out to lunch. Then Ann and I went shopping, to the park, then more shopping, it was a good day. Bud and Bear got to go to the Build-a-Bear workshop. Bud got a turtle named Turtle Jack and Bear got a dog and named him Puppy Jo.
I heard from the girls they are having a great time. It's a bit hot in Florida but they are swimming a lot and having a great time with their cousin Lexxi.


5/6/09~ I took my final, I am done with school for the semester, YEAH! I love the end of a semester it's so freeing. I decided to reward myself, and since my girls were gone, I'd run away to Salt Lake and see my sisters. Bud and Bear would miss one day of school but I'm fine with that. We will have tons of fun.

5/5/09~ My babies left for Disney world today. I won't see them again until next week. What am I suppose to do until then? Wow, what am I going to do when all my kids actually move out and get lives of their own. I will be so lost. I will have to actually get a life of my own. Yeah right:)

5/4/09~ I finally admitted that I was a bit freaked out about my little girls going across the United States without me. I think any parent would. As a mother all I can think about is every thing that can go wrong and I will be stuck on the opposite side of the country. Big D sat all of us down yesterday and gave us father's blessings. This helped calm my nerves. I know they are going to have the time of their lives with Grandma Honey and Papa Guy, to be honest I'm a bit envious. This is an awesome opportunity for them, it's not like Big D and I could ever afford to take them. I'm glad they are going to have this experience that will last them a life time. Now we just have to get them packed.

5/3/09~ We had a family meeting over at Grandma Lovely's house. Brook gave us the good news that he and Andy will be able to get married in the temple. She finally got her letter from headquarters about her temple divorce from her first husband. This is great news for them, they were a bit discouraged thinking they might not be able to get sealed for a year. We also planned my mom's garden for this summer. We are going to do a big family garden and rotate weeding it again. It worked out pretty good last year.

5/2/09~ We decided to start our Spring cleaning. We only got the girls and boys bedrooms done, but it's a start. Of course, clean rooms are a magnet for the kids so all day they played in their rooms with their friends. Needless to say, I need to "Spring clean" them again. Ahhhhhh! I am fighting a losing battle here.

5/1/09~ Bud, Bear, and I went on a field trip with Bug. We went back to the park were we planted wild flowers. We checked on the progress of our flowers and planted another native plant. This time we planted a bush that was already growing. Bug's teacher encouraged the students to come back and check on their plants so they can watch them grow. Bud and Bear were very entertaining for the other students. I'm pretty sure I will be asked not to bring them again, they were a bit distracting.

The Lord's Hand in April 2009

4/30/09~ My last day of class, YEAH! So far I'm getting an 'A' but if I totally tank the final that could change. I guess that could happen because I've totally lost interest in this class. I still have tons of reading to do before I take the final. It's a good thing I get to take the test twice and get the highest score for my grade. I need an 'A' though, I want an 'A'. I guess I'd better get reading then.

4/29/09~ I swear the sun is boycotting. Just when I start to chirp up and get all excited about life again, the sun goes behind a cloud and I'm instantly ticked off. I so need the sun to come out and stay out.

4/28/09~ Just trying to wrap end-of-semester stuff up. It's a bit difficult with six of us being in school. It is nice for me and Big D to get out a couple weeks before the kids. There is just as much to do for them at the end of the school year as there is for us to do. Bug went up to the college and had one of her science classes. She learned about Indian cultures and how they survived long ago. She really enjoyed it. The kids were a bit jealous when she came home with a bag of yummy squished berries to eat.

4/27/09~ We planted the garden for FHE tonight. I know it's probably way too early, I'm praying not. We have to get it done when both Big D and I have the time together. The kids all helped and I think we had fun. For the second portion of our FHE we took it inside and learned about what to do if approached by a stranger. Big D wanted to let the kids know what it felt like to be grabbed and to know how NOT easy it is to fight back. He had each of the kids take turns getting within grabbing reach. He told them they could do whatever they wanted to too get loose: kick, scream, bite, etc. I think the kids thought it was fun and games until daddy used most of his strength to subdue them then they realized it wasn't funny anymore. We wanted to teach the kids that it is a very real danger and no matter how many tricks they think they have to get away they are no where near as strong as an adult. My poor nephew, Brook Jr., thought he was going to get away quick. He made a good effort but as soon as he started kicking and Big D grabbed his legs so he couldn't move at all Brook Jr's eyes started rolling in the back of his head. He was seriously freaked out. I think they all got the message.

4/26/09~ We celebrated my nephew, Matt's, birthday at Grandma Ellen and Papa Dave's house. He decided he wanted steak for dinner, thank you, and we all ate way too much. I never used to be a steak lover until I tried a steak that my father-in-law cooked. Wow, it was good. That and I love to put Winger's sauce on it, so does Bug.

4/25/09~ We all went out to Papa Guy and Grandma Honey's to help with branding. I don't know how many cattle they actually branded but I do know there was at least two injuries. T.T. fell off a fence and got a stick in the eye, I hope he'll be okay. Lowell was wrestling a really big calf...and slipped in a pile of poop and sprained his ankle :) I told him that I'd man up the story a bit before he goes to work on Monday.

4/24/09~ Big D and I went to the temple today. It was so nice that I had a huge smile on my face the hole time, I probably looked like an idiot. We happened to run into my in-laws in the same session. I was actually thinking on the way up to the temple that we should've invited them to go up with us, but I didn't think they would've been out of work by the time we went. It all worked out for the best anyway. We ended up being able to do some sealing too. I love going to the temple! There were a few changes though. We ask how long ago they made these changes and, of course, it was over a year ago. Wow, I felt stupid that I've let it go that long since going to the temple. Hopefully we don't let that happen again.

4/23/09~ The kids are all out of school for the rest of the week, except Bear. I am suppose to be in class right now but I had to skip on account that Bug isn't quite old enough to babysit for that long. Hopefully my professor isn't going over anything critical, just finals stuff I'm sure. I am so glad school only has three weeks left, well actually only two after today. YEAH!!! Big D is excited too, he has his last big presentation in class tonight and I hope he can quit stressing after he's done.

4/22/09~ Busy Busy Day! I feel like I've been running around with my head cut off. Bug had to finish up her science fair project and get that turned in. We had Exhibition Expedition tonight where we go to the kids school and they show us what they've been working on in the past quarter. The kids had so much fun showing us, mainly their dad, around their classrooms that they didn't want to leave. I am very happy with how well they are all doing.

4/20/09~ The girls had their piano recital tonight. They both did so good. I am so proud of how hard they worked on their songs. Auntie Rae, their piano teacher, asked all her students to memorize their songs and Bug and Beaner did. Rae even complimented Beaner because she was the very first one to have her song memorized and ready to play. I think that really boosted Beaners self-esteem.

4/19/09~ I have been feeling great lately, it helps that the suns been out for a few days. We even went out to the reservoir yesterday to check the water levels and throw rocks in. I took about a thousand (not an exaggeration) pictures of the kids and the surroundings. We had a great day yesterday. Today was just as nice. I got asked to do Sharing Time at the last minute but I didn't panic and I think I did pretty good. I don't know why I get so nervous standing up in front of people, but I do. Who knows, maybe by the time I get released from this calling I'll feel right at home in front of an audience.

4/18/09~ Today was family hair cut day. We all got our hair cut for the summer, yeah! I even cut my hair off, up to my shoulders. I wanted to still be able to pull it back in a pony tail for when I workout. Bug donated her hair to Locks of Love. Her hair cut makes her look older. Beaner got a trim, but still adorable. She's afraid people aren't going to be able to tell that she got a hair cut too. I don't know what she's worried about she is cute as a button. The boys, all three of them, got shaved. Big D got a bit impatient waiting for me to cut his hair so he did it himself. He is getting very self sufficient. He couldn't do any worse cutting his own hair than his last barber's been doing.

4/17/09~ Registration for next semester starts today. I've decided that I should probably start taking my math courses and get them out of the way while I'm only taking one class a semester. However, before I can start math I have to retake the math placement test again. Apparently, math courses have a shelf life and I have to start all over. I'm a bit nervous because it's been about fifteen years since my last math class and I really don't want to waist my time and money on entry level math classes. I know I'd benefit immensely but I just don't want to. So I found a website that helps go over what kind of math is on these exams and I've been studying all day. It's starting to come back to me and make sense again but I still have a long way to go. Right now I think my brain is on numbers overload. It sounds so easy when your reading the explanation but then when I go to practice on a problem, especially story problems, it's all Japanese. It's a good thing they let you take this exam as many times as you want, you just have to pay $5 each time and wait a certain period of time. I've got all summer to pass it, let's hope it doesn't take me that long, I need to save my $ to actually pay for next semester.

4/16/09~ I took the girls in to get their eyes checked. They both have expressed problems seeing certain things and Bug actually had a test at school that said she needed to go in for a formal exam. Thank goodness neither one needs glasses. We have good vision insurance but it would be one more thing to have to worry about them taking care of. I'm only one mom.

4/15/09~ A lady in my ward called and asked if I'd feed the missionaries. I told her I could do it Wednesday but that was probably the only night. Needless to say, today is Wednesday and I spent hours cooking, something my family hasn't seen me do for awhile. I put together a great meal and had Big D call the missionaries when he got home from work to see if we needed to pick them up of if they were going to walk over. They informed us that it is their 'P' day and they don't do appointments. What!?! My family sat down and proceeded to have a very nice missionary dinner without the missionaries. I think Big D thought I was going to be upset so he started complimenting the meal and talking to the kids like they were the missionaries. I didn't know it but Sister Beaner is from China.

4/14/09~ It snowed all day, is this a joke or something. I thought it was suppose to be Spring. The snow didn't stick around, it melted as soon as it hit the ground, but that is beside the point. I NEED Spring to be here, really be here. I am battling the Winter blues something fierce. I want the sunshine on my skin. Wow, I'm a whiner I think I'm getting sick, poor Big D.

4/13/09~ My sister Ann came up this weekend. I love it when my sisters come home. I wish Marie was able to come home this weekend, but maybe next time. Ann is dog sitting for a friend for a week so she brought the dog. She is a Yorkie, just like Kinnzi, but quite a bit bigger than Kinnzi. Her name is Abby and she is a doll. I don't know how old she is but she is very well behaved. We were a bit nervous with how she'd take to Kinnzi but Abby was in her own little world. It was Kinnzi who ended up having the problem, you'd think it was Kinnzi who was taken out of her element. Kinnzi finally got used to having Abby around, she still didn't like it, but she was used to it.

4/12/09~ Happy Easter! We don't do much for Easter. Just like all the other holidays, it's getting way too commercial. We did an egg hunt, but I stuffed money in the eggs instead of candy. Each kid ended up with about $5. I hope I'm not scaring them. They are probably going to grow up needing a lot of therapy to help them deal with their deprived childhood.

4/11/09~ My beautiful niece, Renee, got baptised today. I hope she felt special having so much family there to support her. Her father, Itchy, gave a wonderful talk on baptism and her Aunt Shauna gave a nice talk on the Holy Ghost. It was funny because Itchy thought he was suppose to give the Holy Ghost talk so that's what he prepared for. You could see the total shock on his face when the Bishop announced who was giving which talk. It's so nice that he is so close to the spirit to be able to get up and give a very compelling talk with absolutely no preparation. He did awesome! I am so proud of how well he did through out the entire evening. Renee is truly loved.

4/9/09~ Big D and I were able to steal away for a secret rendezvous, we went out to lunch. I thought I'd surprise him and try to cheer him up a bit. I think it worked. When he came home from work he was in a really good mood, and he had still had to go to school so that's saying a lot. It makes me feel good when I can make him feel good.

I noticed as I was taking Brook and Andy's engagement photos that I really needed a reflector. A lot of the pictures had them with raccoon eyes. I could not find a store within a 50 mile radius of me that sold them. So I called down to C and asked if she'd find one and send it to me before this weekend, I'm going to take more engagement photos of Brook and Andy. C, the wonderful friend she is, ran out and bought me one and sent it home with her sister. She is such a life saver. Thank you so much C!!!

4/8/09~ Big D got some discouraging news on his last test. He didn't do as well as he would like. Now we have switched places and he is the depressed one and now I am babying him. I'm happy to do it although I wish I could do something to make him feel better and buoy him up a bit more than I am. I hate seeing him so down as I'm sure he hates it when I'm down. It is going to be so nice when this semester is over and we have all summer to lick our wounds and recoup before we start anew next semester.

4/7/09~ Happy Birthday Bear!!! He is one spoiled little boy. Papa Guy and Grandma Honey stopped by to give him a monster truck that rolls over cars. Papa Dave and Grandma Ellen took him out to dinner and to the store to pick out what ever he wanted, he came home with four things. Bud tried to talk him into getting something for him but I told him No (his birthday is in two months, he can wait for his own shopping trip). Bear got to take cupcakes to school to share with his friends. I think he ended up eating at least three himself. He was doped up on sugar when it came time for bed. I'm surprised he actually stayed in bed when I put him down.

4/6/09~ Still working on the pictures for Brook and Andy. I hope I will have some ready to share in a bit. It's amazing to me that taking the picture is the easy part, getting them all cleaned up and pretty is the hard part. Who knows, maybe if I would've taken a better picture it wouldn't be as hard to make them pretty. I'm learning as I go. I hope Brook and Andy will like them. We celebrated Bears birthday today, since Big D has school tomorrow. We took him and some cousins to McDonald's for a happy meal and play time on the toys. I think they enjoyed themselves. I love it when they are still young enough that their parties can be so easy and inexpensive.

4/5/09~ There is some thing so sweet about General Conference weekend. I love how my soul fills refreshed and excited to set goals. There was an overwhelming message to go to the temple more often. I think they were talking directly to me. I am embarrassed to admit but I haven't been to the temple in over a year. Big D and I have set a goal to try and go once a month, now the trick is to just do it.

4/4/09~ I took Brook and Andy's engagement photos today. I didn't have a diffuser so there are quite a few shadows on their faces but I'm doing my best to give them good pictures. I think I am going to take some more next weekend, if they'll let me. Hopefully I can get a diffuser screen by then. I took over 100 photos and I think I have a little more than 10 good ones. I'm a bit discouraged by that number but I have to keep reminding myself that I'm learning as I go and I will only get better. I guess it's a good thing I'm not charging them or they'd probably be ticked with only 10 to chose from.

4/3/09~ The kids went out to Papa Guy and Grandma Honey's for the weekend. I'm free, YEAH! It's nice to have a break I think it makes me a better mom. It also gives Big D and I a glimpse on how life is going to be when it's just us again (he's going to suffer from Empty Nest Syndrome, me, I'll be fine). Big D and I went out to eat and a movie. We saw the new Nicolas Cage movie, "Knowing". I was a little leary because he hasn't made a good movie in a little while but the movie was really good. It had a ton of religious over tones in it: In the last days the righteous will be taken up, the tree of life, the earth will be cleansed with fire, etc. I really enjoyed it for nothing else than it was a good story.

4/2/09~ Spring Break is definitely over. Last week was a week of relaxation and laziness. This week I've been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I have a sink full of dirty dishes, every dish in the house. They've been there all week because I have no time to clean them. I am mortified any time some one comes over. I need another Spring Break I think.

4/1/09~ April Fools Day, and I didn't pull any pranks. I did make my kids eat spaghetti for the fourth night in a row. I'm pretty sure they were hoping that it was a joke when I announced dinner. Ha Ha the jokes on them. Next time I make spaghetti I really need to use portion control.

Lord's Hand: March 2009

3/31/09~ C and I have been doing a challenge the past couple weeks. We've been keeping track of our point we get for working out or reading scriptures. The challenge ended on the 28th and I find myself a bit disappointed. I didn't realize how much it pushed me at the gym. Today I was on the treadmill and I told myself I had to stay on for 15 more minutes to get my full point, then I realized no I don't. I'm going to need to find another way to push myself. I started P90X yesterday. I'm hoping it will help boost me a bit more and quicker if I work out for and hour at the gym and an hour at home every day. It's not like anyone can tell by looking at me that I've been hitting the gym every morning for the past three months. I need to do something drastic before I give up.

3/30/09~ I think someone is out to get me, no really. I have not been sleeping good lately, my poor children. Last night I didn't fall asleep until 1a.m. and Kinnzi woke me at 2a.m. to go out. I decided I was not going to try and go to the gym at 5a.m. so I reset my alarm for 7a.m. Needless to say my body woke up by itself at 5a.m. What the heck, so I went to the gym. I do feel pretty good in spite of it though. Maybe this is the Lord doing his part to help me get healthy. Someday I'm going to have to thank him, probably after I'm more awake.

3/29/09~ I had to talk in Sacrament meeting today, Ahhhhh. I am so glad it's over but man was it stressful. It's funny because I got the call on Wednesday asking me to speak and instantly ideas started coming to my head about what I should say. I hate waiting until the last minute I just get more flustered. That night I couldn't sleep so about 1a.m. I turned on my lamp and started writing my talk. It's amazing how fluid and marvelous some thing sounds that early in the morning. I think I'm closer to the spirit that early because I'm so tired that my brain is just running wild. I ended up using just about every thing I wrote so I guess it wasn't that bad. I am just soooooo glad it's over. Hopefully now I won't have to speak for another five years or so.

3/28/09~ My sisters are in town, YEAH! I love it when they come home. We went to a movie "Benjamen Button". It was a good movie even though it made me cry, that usually signifies a bad movie to me. I'm taking the higher road and saying that the movie is still good, I just probably won't ever watch it again. I wish my sisters were able to stay longer, I sure miss them.

3/27/09~ Sometimes it's nice just to be together as a family, it doesn't matter that we don't have anything to do. We drove around until we ended up at the Spring Fair tonight. It actually turned out pretty nice because there wasn't that big of a crowd so the kids were able to enjoy playing on those scooters that you sit on and swivel the steering wheel back and forth to make it go. Every year we think about getting one of those but then we ask ourselves where we'd ever play on one. Our driveway is crap, and small. Our streets are too bumpy so we'd never be able to have any fun. Who knows maybe some day we'll have a big enough driveway or something.

3/26/09~ I think taking it easy has paid off, I made it to the gym this morning. I rode the sit-down bike again and lifted weights. I still don't think I can do anything that requires me to bend over but I'm working up to that. And the best part is no doctor bills, Yeah. The bad part is, taking a resting period doesn't help with the weight loss goals and Big D starts his "Biggest Loser" competition next week. It's like he's been bulking up for the first weigh-in because he knows he can lose it so fast, jerk. After that I'm pretty sure he's going to blow me away. It sucks that men can lose weight faster and easier than women. The Lord and I are going to have some words about that one the next time I see him.

3/25/09~ I'm feeling a lot better today, I'd better because the kids all have friends coming over today and the weather is poopy so they will all be inside. Yeah for me!!! I finally figured out how to use Bugs sewing machine that she got for Christmas. So it's like Christmas morning for her she's excited to play with her "new" toy. Beaner and her friend are going to make peanut butter and jelly cookies in her easy bake oven. Bud is going to watch his new movie "Bolt" with his little friend and I'm sure Bear will tag along for that one. It is shaping up to be a nice day even though I didn't make it to the gym this morning, still trying to take it easy on the neck.

3/24/09~ I stayed down all day, not only because of my neck, but I think I'm coming down with a cold. It will be nice to just veg for one day. Lets hope it doesn't roll into two. I got a call asking me to talk in Sacrament meeting this Sunday. Why couldn't we have left town for Spring Break? I couldn't sleep last night so about 1 a.m. I wrote my talk. It's funny how at 1 a.m. any thing I write sounds fabulous, until the next day when I re-read it. I think it will be fine, at least I have a start. I at least know the direction I want to go, now lets hope it's the same direction the Lord wants me to take.

3/23/09~ A couple years ago I had a bulging disk in my neck and I couldn't move. I got some help from my chiropractor but he said the injury can be induced by stress and will probably resurface, and now it has. I was so hoping he was wrong and I was going to be an exception. I've felt my neck getting stiffer and stiffer the past few weeks but I tried to baby my neck so I would be totally disabled by it. On Saturday I was folding laundry with Bug and I sneezed and that's all she wrote. I felt a pop in my neck and shooting pain, from a sneeze. It still was no were near the pain to throw me back to the doctor but it was still pretty bad. I've been taking it easy since then as to not aggravate it more. I tried going to the gym this morning and taking it easy as to not jar my neck, that's harder than in sounds. All I did was walk on the treadmill and ride a sit-down bike and my neck started to throb so I had to go home. Maybe I should baby my neck for a bit longer if I don't want to end up with a huge doctor bill.

3/22/09~ The "Twilight" party went great, even with the unwarranted commentary from the audience. My dad had a hard time sitting through the movie, Grandma Honey said it was because there were too many distraction and they could watch the movie again after everyone left. I don't think that was the issue, but it was still funny. Bug loved the movie so much so that we stayed after everyone else left just so we could watch it again.

3/21/09~ Today we are going to help Brook with his remodel. He's trying to sell his house before He and Andy get married. They have both houses on the market, but what a horrible market to try and sell your house. Big D and I have been helping him out and then we are going to head out to Papa Guy and Grandma Honey's for our "Twilight" party tonight. I'm excited to get out of town. I think I'm going to take my camera and walk around and take pictures of the old homesteads. I love old things. They have so much life to tell.

3/20/09~ The boys and I went with Beaner on a field trip. We walked around our historic downtown and looked at all the old architecture. I love old buildings so I was excited to go. I was really surprised Bear walked the whole way without needing to be carried. I hope we made Beaner feel special by coming with her. And what a beautiful day for the first day of Spring. It was like a dream.

3/18/09~ Trying to pull myself out of my funk I went over to the junior high that's by my house to run the track. I figure I can run two miles on the treadmill I can do at least one mile on the track no problem. I've always heard that running on the treadmill is nothing like running on asphalt or even the streets for that matter. There is definitely more ups and downs to contend with so that is why I thought I should be able to go at least one mile around the track. Well, I didn't get the chance to find out because after one lap around the track one of the local high school track teams showed up to use the track. I was a bit disappointed but at least now I know when they use the track, I will just have to come back another time. If nothing else it was nice to get outside in the sunshine. I think that in and of itself helped my funky state of mind. I'm already feeling much better.

3/16/09~ Not much is going on this week. I've been a bit blue so I haven't been getting out much. Maybe next week will be better.

3/15/09~ I can always tell when I'm feeling chaotic and out of control in my own life because I start trying to control other peoples' lives, and it never works. We have a little boy in Primary that is very disruptive so I thought we should try the Super Nanny thing and put him in timeout. We cleared out a room and let him have free rain. I stood outside the door to keep an eye on him and would ask him every five minutes if he was ready to rejoin his class. He said he was ready three times but every time I got him to the door he'd throw another fit so I'd take him right back to the room so he could throw his fit. He ended up staying the entire time in the room. I don't know if that was the right thing to do or not. I'm at a loss as what to do. I know I'm not his parent so technically this really isn't even my place, but where do I draw the line when his behavior is affecting thirty other kids. HELP ME!

3/14/09~ C came up and we were able to do lunch after my Primary activity. The activity went really well. I was in charge of the games and we played life size Chutes and Ladders and also life size Clue. The kids really enjoyed them both. Afterward C and I went to Chilies for lunch. It was a good meal but I think I ate a whole stick of butter, which is not good for the waist line. No wonder their food tastes so good. I wish someone would open up a eatery that is healthy, good tasting food. I know there are sandwich shops but I can only eat so many salads and sandwiches before I get bored. Here's a thought, maybe I need to learn to cook.

3/13/09~ Big D is my hero, he helped me set up for my first big Primary activity that takes place tomorrow. He knows how to make a stressful situation fun. He involves the kids in every thing he does and helps us all enjoy each other. I am such a lucky lady to have such a wonderful and supportive hubby. I love you man!

3/12/09~ What a crappy day, I only got two or three hours of sleep so the entire day all I could think about was how bad I needed to sleep. I don't know why I couldn't sleep, but watching the hours tick by just pissed me off more and more. I so need a nap!

3/11/09~ Today is C's birthday, she is now an old lady just like me, ha ha. I guess that is kind of cruel to rub that in, but I am a cruel cruel friend. I guess that would explain why I don't have many friends. Happy Birthday C!!!

3/8/09~ After Big D got home we went to the mall so the kids could play on the toys last night. We weren't there but two minutes when Bug went to jump over a frog and landed wrong and sprained her ankle. Her foot was swollen so she had to wear her bright pink slippers to church today. She looked pretty funny wearing these big furry slipper with her navy blue dress. To be honest I was a bit jealous.

3/7/09~ With Big D gone we have a party hardy attitude. We rented movies last night and today we are going to see Bolt at the theater and out for ice cream. If we keep this up the kids are going to want either Big D or I to leave every weekend. When I was down in Salt Lake for the concert Big D spoiled the kids with ice cream and movies too. I just hope our kids never make it passed the spoiled phase and reach the rotten phase.

3/6/09~ Big D left on his snowmobiling trip with the young men. It was sad because he really didn't want to go. He is getting behind on his homework and he already doesn't get to spend much time with his kids and he's getting more frustrated every day. He did get an 'A' on his presentation yesterday. His professor even told him that he should look into being a teacher, he does so good in front of people. I've been telling him that for years. I don't know what he's going to do with that information. If nothing else it was flattering for him.

3/5/09~ My presentation is over, thank goodness. Now I can concentrate on something else for a bit. I got up every hour on the hour last night until I finally got out of bed at 4 a.m. and went to the gym. I did great at the gym until the last thirty minutes and then I was back to obsessing about this stupid presentation. Everyone showed up except Thursday night work girl so it was a good thing we covered our bums there. We had to give a ten minute presentation and it was twenty-five minutes, hopefully we don't get docked for that. I am so glad it's over with, now Big D has to get through his tonight. Good Luck Babe!

3/4/09~ I went to my last study group before our big presentation. I was a bit nervous not many would show up, because lets face it, it's usually me and one other person. Out of seven people we were only missing two people. One we've never met, she did email us once saying she couldn't make it to our meetings because she worked Thursday nights. We emailed her back saying that was great because our meetings were on Wednesday nights. The other girl had an emergency with her sister and had to take her to the hospital. So we covered our bases in case neither one showed up for the presentation and called it a night.

3/3/09~ I've been at the bank twice trying to take care of this scam on my account. It makes me want to never order anything on the Internet again. It could have been worse I guess, some people get scammed out of thousands of dollars. I'm glad I learned my lesson with just a couple hundred dollars. It still ticks me off because my family could so use that money. Oh well, live and learn.

3/2/09~ It is a good thing I only have one class this semester, I'm having a hard enough time finding the time to do my homework I can't imagine having to find the time for two classes. It seems like every time I start getting something done someone needs help, or hungry, or thirsty, or is fighting. I don't know how some parents go back full time, poor Big D. Big D is getting so frustrated with how little time he gets to spend with the family. He's thinking about cutting down to one class next semester, again. He thought about doing this last semester because he was so frustrated but then he decided he wanted to just hurry and get it over with. I guess we will see what he decides to do when it's time to register.

3/1/09~ Beaner got up and bore her testimony in Sacrament meeting. She is so brave, braver than me. I did get up and bare my testimony too. I did it for her so she would know that, even though I don't get up every fast Sunday, I do have a testimony. Beaner got a little bottle of baptism water from the Primary presidency, which I thought was a cute idea, but she dropped the bottle as soon as we got home and it broke she was devastated. She is sentimental about things like that. It's a good thing she'd gotten so much other stuff to help her remember her big day: scriptures, scripture bag, a framed picture of her and Big D in their baptism cloths, and many others. I hope she will always remember how special her baptism day was.

Lord's Hand February 2009

2/28/09~ Beaner was baptised today. What a special day for all of us but especially for her. Big D and I are so proud of her choice to take this step. She had a really good turn out. I think she got tired of being in every picture taken, she wanted to play. She was so beautiful dressed all in white. I am one proud mama.

2/26/09~ I went to Enrichment meeting tonight, we made watches. Mine turned out pretty cool. I found some curly shell beads that I loved so I got some other beads to match the shells. Of course one color is green, my favorite color. I know the shells will probably end up breaking off but until then I am going to enjoy my new watch. Now that I know how to make them I think I'm going to make some more. Maybe make different bands to wear with different outfits, not that I wear a watch a lot. I think this is the first time in about four years since I wore a watch last. Now when I want to know what time it is I check on my cell phone. I still love my watch, it's a practical functional bracelet. It suits my personality, I am very practical.

2/25/09~ We took Beaner to Deseret Book to buy her new scriptures. She also got a beautiful white baptism dress and a cute scripture bag. I was so impressed with how quickly she made up her mind. She my one that loves to contemplate all the options, very methodical. I hope she feels special and understands what a special day Saturday is going to be for her. She also got to go to Achievement Days with Bug this week for the first time. She's been waiting a long time to be able to go with her sister. Now she can be a big girl too.

2/24/09~ I ran for two miles straight today. I am so stoked I never thought I could run one mile let alone two. I am building up my endurance when I go to the gym but I'm still not losing the weight as quick as I thought I would. My brother drops his kids off every morning on his way to work. He said he's impressed that every time he drops the kids off I'm gone. He said that I am either at the gym every morning or taking an early morning donut run. I told him that if you look at me, it looks like I'm taking a donut run, but I swear I'm going to the gym. I have witnesses if I need to call them in for questioning.

2/23/09~ Lowell and Rae brought Bear to me so I could stay away a little longer. I still had to make sure I made it home in time for the kids to get out of school, piece of cake (I was about thirty minutes late, oops shhh don't tell anyone). I stopped at Tai Pan on my way home, Bear was bored out of his mind. I found a gate I really wanted so I asked an employee if she could carry it up front until I was done shopping. When I got up front I saw my gate, broken. She felt so bad, it fell over and broke some of the decorative pieces off. I was so excited when I saw that, cha ching. I asked her if she'd still sell it to me at a discounted price. She agreed to take 50% off, I probably could've gotten more but I've never been a good bargainer, I don't like to hurt people's feelings. I got the gate home and asked Brook if he could weld my gate back together and he said yes, woo. Only one problem, it's too big to go on my mantle, which is what I bought it for. Now I don't know where I'm going to put it, but that's okay because I got a good deal.

2/22/09~ Celine Dion I Love You!!! Rae and I finally got to go to our concert. We've waited over a year to go. I tried to take pictures but we were in the nose bleed section so they didn't turn out that great, okay they are crappy but I'm keeping them anyway. Celine is such a good entertainer. I can tell why she makes big bucks, she's awesome. She put on a two hour show in six inch heals dancing, jumping on the piano, and five wardrobe changes. Wow, she's so awesome. I loved how engaging she was with the audience.

2/21/09~ I am working on my homework that is due tomorrow, I know not a very exciting thing to be doing when I'm suppose to be on a run away from responsibility weekend. I am waiting for Ann to get home from a scuba dive in a crater and Marie to get home from work. After they get home we are going to the go kart races, YEAH!

2/20/09~ I left early and went straight to C's house. We had a great time getting lost looking for a cookie warehouse store, antique stores, and the fair grounds (they were suppose to be having an antique fair this weekend). You should be proud of me, I did not eat any of the cookies C bought, but I think I gained about 5 pounds just by walking through the front door of the store. It smelt fabulous!!!

2/19/09~ Run Run Run that is all we did all day: library, girls' school, Bear's school, store, my school, DI, bank, on and on and on. I am so tired and I still have homework, dishes, packing for tomorrow, and wrapping up church responsibilities since I won't be here again. I am so looking forward to running away again. I should run away every weekend, I'd probably get fired as a secretary, mom, car pooler, aunt, and wife.

2/18/09~ Big D called me up from Mutual asking if I would bring the kids up to him at the church. They were playing dodge ball and only ten kids showed up so he was recruiting. I decided it would be good exercises for all of us. We all did great, even with Bear getting kicked in the back by his best friend, Little Jon. It was a great workout and we all went home sweaty and stinky.

2/17/09~ Wow, I am feeling the repercussions of the weekend. I need to get back into things like homework, working out, and cleaning my house. It is amazing how refreshed I feel after I take a weekend and run away. The best part about it is I get to do it again next weekend. I get to go back to my sisters' for the weekend and go to Celine Dion, hopefully. Last concert I was suppose to go to she cancelled so hopefully she is feeling better and I get to listen to her sing. I am excited, it is going to be just Rae and I.

2/16/09~ I really missed my kids. I know Big D did too but he's the one who had to point it out to me. We stopped at some stores as we worked our way home and I kept finding stuff I wanted to buy for our kids. Big D came up behind me and said, "You really miss the kids don't you?" I didn't realize it up to that point but he was right. I wanted to go home and hug and kiss each one of them. I wish they would've missed me as much as I missed them, but that isn't possible when they stay at Grandma Honey and Papa Guy's house. All that spoiling keeps them occupied, I wonder if my kids even noticed we were gone?

2/15/09~ We spent the day at my sisters' house. I relaxed and Big D did some home work, he has a huge test on Tuesday. After being lazy all day we went and checked into our hotel room where we were planning on going swimming only to find out the swim pool was outside and closed up for the winter. I forgot to see if the pool was and indoor pool, oops my bad.

2/14/09~ Big D and I went to Monster Jam, a monster truck rally. We had the best time. It made us miss our little boys though, they would have loved those huge trucks especially since they have a toy of one of them: the Bull Dozer. Before the rally, or jam, Big D and I went and raced go carts. It took us back to our second date when we'd done the same thing. It was funny because on that second date is when Big D whisper in my deaf ear, "Can I kiss you?" and when I turned my head to ask him what he said he planted one right on me. After he'd pulled away and saw my huge eyes he asked what was wrong, he'd asked if it was okay. I had to remind him I am deaf in that ear. So this weekend he walked up behind me and whispered in my good ear, "Can I kiss you?" and I said yes. I was a bit confused as why he felt like he had to ask. After I kissed him he started laughing. I asked him what was so funny and he said he meant to whisper in my deaf ear. He is such a romantic.

2/13/09~ Happy Friday the 13th, muwa ah ah ah =0 Today we are running away and I am so excited. Big D and I are taking off for the weekend for our 13th anniversary, how ironic isn't it. I just hope Big D doesn't get in his head he wants to watch a scary movie to commemorate the big occasion, I don't do scary I have too vivid of an imagination. The kids are all stoked about spending the weekend at Papa Guy and Grandma Honey's house. They get spoiled rotten out there, I love it as much as they do.

2/12/09~ Bud got invited to go to another play date with his buddies. When we were picking the rest of the kids up from school the mom of Bud's play date asked if Bear wanted to come along. He was so excited, he'd been begging all day to go play at someones house but I couldn't get a hold of his friend. The first thing Bud said was, "I am looking forward to another cupcake". Last time they stopped at the store on their way home and got a cupcake. I told him he didn't get a cupcake every time he went to a play date, but he doesn't see it that way. Sure enough they both came home with cupcakes.

2/11/09~ It's official, and I finally have permission to announce: Brook and Andy are engaged. He asked her Monday evening with all their kids around. I tried to talk him into letting me stand outside the window so I could watch but I was denied. So I did the next best thing, I sent my camera with my niece to take pictures. Unfortunately, I still haven't seen my camera yet. So when I do get my camera back I will post the pictures and give more details.

2/10/09~ I watched "The Biggest Loser", and I probably shouldn't have. It usually inspires me and gives me ideas on what to try to stay motivated, but tonight it did the opposite. They have been working out for six weeks at this point in the show and they've all lost like forty, some sixty, pounds at this point. Well, I've been working out for six weeks and I'm struggling to keep the measly six or seven pounds off. I was totally bummed after the show with what little progress I've made. Everyone keeps saying to hang in that the weight is going to just melt off, but it's not. I have got to be doing something wrong because at this point all that I've realized is my lifestyle before wasn't as bad as I thought if when I'm working my butt off nothing is happening. It never fails when I feel like I'm doing great and I stand on the scale, it slaps me in the face with how little my hard work paying off. Wow, I need to buck up and quit whining.

2/9/09~ I think I partied a little too hard this last weekend, I am not feeling well. It's funny how crappy junk food makes you feel. I never noticed that before. Beaner is still celebrating her birthday, Grandma Ellen and Papa Ray took her out to dinner and shopping for a present. She is so thoughtful she came home with something for everyone, even Lynn and Brook Jr. It's a good thing they went to the dollar store. It makes me so proud of how thoughtful and loving Beaner is. I just hope she knows that some times things can just be about her and they don't have to include everyone else. I just want her to feel as special as we all think she is.

2/8/09~ Beaner's official birthday. We had a nice birthday dinner at Grandma Ellen and Papa Ray's. She asked for salmon for dinner, but I don't know if it is because she loves it or if she just knows it's my favorite. She is such a people pleaser that I wouldn't put it past her. I need to teach her that it's okay to pick stuff she likes on her special day, she only gets one a year. She is such my tender one.

2/7/09~ We had a busy day!!! We started the morning off with Brook Jr.'s baptism. It was so neat seeing him and his father in all white. I am soooo proud of both of them for the decisions they've made. I hope Brook Jr. knows how loved he is, he had quite a bit turn out. I think our group had one of the biggest followings, it was great to see everyone there to support Brook and Brook Jr.

We had a luncheon after the baptism and then we all went home and changed and went skating for Beaner's birthday. We were suppose to celebrate her birthday next weekend but it's my and Big D's 13th anniversary and we'll be gone. We sent out invitations for Beaner's party the day before so we knew not many friends would show up but she still had a good thirty people there, of course, most were relatives but that's okay. I think she we succeeded in making her feel special.

2/6/09~ It is Beaner's birthday tomorrow, Yeah for Beaner! I asked her what treat she wanted to share with her class and she said peanut butter candies. Those of you who know me know that peanut butter and chocolate are one of my biggest weaknesses. I put off making them until about 10 p.m. last night so I wouldn't have to pass by and smell them through out the evening. I didn't get to bed until 11 p.m., which made it hard to get up for the gym.

Bud, Bear, and I went with Beaner and her class to see the movie "The Tales of Despereux". The theater had a special showing just for us and gave all the kids a soda, popcorn, and a candy. My kids are not used to getting treats at the movies, because they are lucky we could afford to get into the movie in the first place. All the kids had a great time and I think it made Beaner feel special that we'd come with her. The only one that wasn't there was Bug, she had to go to her class and she let us know how unfair it was that we all got to go to the movies for school.

2/5/09~ Bud had a play date with some friends from school. He was so excited, I don't think he's ever done that before. Bear had a bit of a hard time with it. When we were picking the kids up from school, then left without Bud, Bear started freaking out. When he grasped the concept of Bud going home with friends, Bear decided the only way to make him feel better was to go over to a friends house. I could not get him to drop it, every two seconds, "can I go over to Jon's house?" Needless to say, he did not get to go and that made him upset.

2/4/09~ I had my first study group for my history class. We have to give a big presentation on March 5th, plus, write two papers by April 3rd. I remember the first time I was in college, right after high school, I was timid and still fearful, so to speak, of professors and authority figures. Now that I am older, sometimes the age of my professor, I'm not so timid. I don't fear, or even desire, the approval of my professor. I am there to learn something, they are there to teach me something, we don't have to be friends. Don't get me wrong, I give proper respect, I'm just not out for everyone to like me. I guess I'm maturing, it helps when I'm one of the oldest in my class. I don't really have any other options than maturing. I can't, and don't want too, go back in time to my teeny bopper days. I like having confidence and not relying on others view of me for my self-esteem. Maturing is great!

2/3/09~ Big D had to go into work early so I was unable to do my morning ritual of getting up at 5 a.m. and going to the gym. I think I finally understand others reactions when they say they get to a point where they crave the gym. Not working out threw my whole day off. I couldn't focus and I forgot every thing: to take Bear to school, Bug's Achievement Days, how to cope with life in general. I so cannot miss working out again, I thought I was going to go crazy.

2/2/09~ Bear and I ran errands all day. Big D called us up in the middle of our errands and invited us out to lunch. I'd promised Bear that after we were done with Wal-mart we'd go over to the mall so he could play in the play area. When he found out we were going to lunch with dad he asked if we could go play first then go to lunch. I don't think he grasps that dad has a time limit for lunch. Bear was a good sport about lunch first but he never let us forget that we were doing the play area next. He had a great time making new friends at the play area until on little boy, who progressively got more aggressive, grabbed him from behind and threw him down slamming his head into a fiberglass fish. After that he was ready to go home. I am very impressed with how well he has been playing with others. He is getting more gentle and considerate all the time. I love to watch him play.

2/1/09~ Super Bowl Sunday! The only game we watch every year, and to be honest it's for the commercials. This year the commercials sucked but the game was pretty good, especially at the end. My team didn't win but I'm used to that because I always root for the under dog. I think I may have over done it on all the good food this weekend. I'm going to have to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch on the weight loss program, that's okay because Big D over did it too.