How Important Is It To Stand Up For Yourself?

My best friend C had a rather mortifying experience the other day. A person in authority used C, without her permission, as a public example out of her in front of over a hundred people, friends and neighbors. Some of those people were angry for her,but some made excuses for the public figure. C wishes she could fade into the back ground and pretend it never happened. I told her that is exactly what she shouldn't do.

C, like myself, is a people pleaser. People like us don't like to cause waves. We like to pretend like stuff doesn't bother us and we are strong enough to let wrongs roll right off our backs. Some of those traits can be construed a good qualities, and I agree. However, I believe there are times when one needs to stand up for themselves and not let others walk all over them.

I believe this is one of those times.

I know how hard it is to take a stand. I had a boss who thought he could walk all over me. He publicly humiliated me and he was blatantly being dishonest. Being raised to know the difference between right and wrong I could not let him do this. So in front of my mother, whom I also worked with, and the entire staff I stood up for myself. I was only nineteen and scared out of my mind because I was also raise to be respectful of authority figures, and as my boss he was an authority figure to me.

My voice was shaky and I couldn't hold back the tears, which is one thing I dislike about myself. I told my boss I thought he was a dishonest asshole and he knew what he was doing was wrong. It was a good thing it was the end of my shift so I could walk out and not have to face him again. I went back to get my last check and that is the last time I ever saw him.

My mom was so proud of me and couldn't believe I would ever do something like that. I think I discovered a new side of myself that day, and a new side to others. At nineteen I was still very naive that everyone in the world is honest, only bad guys on TV were dishonest and mean. Now I know differently and I know that I don't have to condone their behavior.

Since that day I have had to continue to stand up for myself and what I feel is right. Agreeably it is a bit easier to do so each time. I keep my composure better now and don't allow the tears to come, until later. I am still a people pleaser to a fault and hate to make waves. But I will not let someone walk all over me, nor my family.

I believe you have to stand up for yourself, because sometimes that is the only person who can. When I do stand up I don't have to kick myself weeks, months, or even years down the road for not taking action when I should have. Granted I am not perfect and there are times when I look back on a situation and think to myself, "Why didn't I say something?" But those times are becoming a thing of the past.

I believe the first time is the hardest. It also is the biggest self-esteem boast you can give yourself, knowing you can do it. I also believe that if you choose not to stand up for yourself, you will always wonder 'what if?'. C, it is easy to hide in the back ground and shrug it off, but it is important to stand up and let yourself be heard.