Depression

I don't know why I let myself get to this point but I am getting better at avoiding it. I am talking about depression. I have suffered from depression practically all my life. I have tracked what my symptoms are and how close to the edge I get. I learned what to do when I start getting down on myself and I also learned what helps pull me out of it. Doctors have tried to give me anti-depressants before, but growing up in a family that believes in natural medicine, I felt guilty and stopped taking them. Everyone is different and I don't think all 'cures' come in pill form so I decided to find out what works for me.

It usually helps to get out of my house, go where there are people. I don't have to talk to them I just need to feel their energy. I try to get the sun on my face and feel of it's warmth. I try to focus on other people and what I can do for them. If a thought about myself comes into my head I push it back out.

However, there are sometimes that I don't recognize what is going on until it is too late and I am already too deep to help myself; that was my day yesterday. I don't know why but I let myself sink deeper and deeper into a depression that I knew was going to be hard to pull myself back from. I went through the whole I'm a horrible mother, wife, friend, person in general, etc. I let myself believe I wasn't worth loving, you get the picture. I won't lie to you and say I didn't see the signs that Satan was creeping into my head filling it full of crap. It's been coming on for days but I chose not to do anything about it, why I don't know.

My knight in shining armor came home from work last night in a good mood. He recognized what was going on immediately and got me out of the house. We went out to dinner and over to get groceries. He joked around with my until I started responding, you would have thought I was in a coma. He is my lighthouse. He saw where I was headed and he helped me before my ship crashed. I know the world teaches us that we need to be individuals who are strong and who can stand on our own. The Lord teaches that man was not meant to be alone and we need each other if we want to attain our best selves. I am so grateful that I have my best friend to help me in my search for my best self. I thank the Lord everyday for leading us to each other.

I am not depressed today, actually I feel great. I have the house all to myself. I went to the libraries book sale and expanded my collection of books. I listened to Conference and sustained a new Prophet. Today is a great day, I think my grass is actually getting greener.