My First Day At The Gym

I have never liked gyms. I never know what I'm doing and I always feel so self conscious that I never go back.

So I was a little nervous about how I would react last night. I was going all by myself, with no buddy. I walked in like I owned the place. I had to keep telling myself that I am already beautiful, that helped.

I worked out for an hour and a half and I still didn't want to leave. It was eight o'clock, I had to get home and put the kids to bed. Plus, I felt a little guilty that I left Big D home with nine hungry kids.

Maybe that's why I had such a good time at the gym and didn't want to leave.

It's been fun, Big D and I are getting in to the competition part of the wager. That really helps because I am so competitive but I never feel like I can let that side of me out - it's not pretty.

Today I made a huge banner that said, "I am going to Disneyland" and put it right where Big D can see it when he comes home. He's going to get a good laugh out of that one.

Big D was telling me yesterday that he started his diet off with a fast to get the Lord on his side. He said he had a hard time all day at work yesterday but then he'd look up some snow machines on the internet and feel so much better.

I told him that was cheating getting the Lord on his side, so today I'm fasting to even things up again. Ha Ha!

Man am I hungry!

New Year's Resolutions, Yuck!

I have made a lot of New Year's Resolutions in my life, as I am sure many people have. Out of all the resolutions I've made in my thirty plus years I can count only one that I've seen all the way through.

Back in 2006 I resolved to read the entire Bible. It was hard, and it took me a long time, but I finished it before the year was over. I was so proud of myself, I felt a wonderful sense of accomplishment.

Despite my success in 2006 I really dislike resolutions. I feel like I'm setting myself up to fail before I ever begin. Then I feel even worse when I finally admit defeat, which usually means I feel so guilty that I haven't done anything toward my resolution by April I push it completely out of my mind. Every time I think of my failure after that point is like twisting the toothpick under my finger nails.

Needless to say, Big D and I are not making any resolutions this year, mainly because I really don't want feel like a failure.

However, we have set up, what I think, is a very interesting wager.

This is the year for taking back ourselves. We've been whining about our weight for quite awhile now. We are both at our highest weight that we've ever been, excluding being pregnant with twins - but I have been asked if I'm pregnant (that's bad).

We are giving ourselves a time limit and a carrot. By July 17, 2009 whom ever loses their desired weight: Big D = 35 lbs Tiff = 30 lbs, wins the carrot.

If Big D wins he gets to buy new snow machines. He gets to pick any machines he wants and I can't give my opinion, unless asked.

If I win we get to take the family to Disneyland, and I get to look sexy on the beaches of California - not that I will touch the water, I've seen 'Jaws' one too many times.

I figure if I hold myself responsible by posting both our progress once a week then I won't be able to just give up when it gets tough. That and I'm on my blog so much that I will constantly see my progress and it will always be on my mind.

We've laid out our game plan and we are ready to start as soon as we get home from vacation.

I am excited and I hope this helps keep me motivated. Have I mentioned that the only thing I hate worse than resolutions is diets?