Someone Let The Sunshine In

Do you ever get the feeling that the universe is working against you? It is a battle I face every day as I'm sure all of you do too. In my world I have a beautiful family, four healthy kids and one very sexy husband. I have every thing I could every want, so why do I search for more?

Am I selfish?

Am I human?

Am I just a girl who is trying to find herself and her purpose in life?

I don't know the answer. I wish I knew what drive one person to become a politician and someone else to be an engineer. I love to write! I've never claimed to be good at it. Writing is what makes me feel like I am living up to my potential. When I write is when I truly feel the closest to my Father in Heaven. I feel I am using the talents he's given me and not hiding them under a bushel.

My mom, the wise woman she is, told me once when I was a new mother and being torn between what I wanted to do and what I needed to do, she said their is a time and a season for all things. That has stuck with me and gotten me through some rough days.

I feel my season is coming. My youngest will be starting kindergarten next year and I will be able to focus, hopefully, on more than one class next semester. I understand it will still take me awhile to graduate with my degree in journalism. But this is the path I chose, to have a family before I finish college.

I know this is probably just the sunshine talking, I have to admit I'm a huge fan, but I am okay with putting myself second and some times third. I may never get to travel the world and be a well known writer for a popular magazine. I am fine with that. I may never make enough $$$ to support my family so my hubby can be a stay-at-home dad, which he would be awesome at.

All I know is I am going to write. I am going to write even if no one else reads or agrees with me. I am very blessed with the gifts and talents I've been given and I plan to use them to the best of my ability. Then I pray I learn to use them even better.

Thank you for making it through my sappy post. Some times I just have to get things off my chest. It seems to happen when I've been kissed by the sweet intoxicating rays of sun.