Guilt, It's a Powerful Thing

Sandra, the daughter of the lady we were going to buy the house across the street from, came over yesterday. She told us that someone has put earnest $$ down on the house.

Personally, I knew she didn't have to come and tell me, but it was an answer to my prayers.

Every morning walking up my stairs and seeing the house across the street still available and screaming at me, "Why don't you want to buy me?"

A part of me was holding out hope that one day Big D would come home and say he'd changed his mind and he really wants to move across the street. I knew that hope would die if someone would just hurry and purchase the home.

I've been praying that this self induced torture would end and someone in this rechid economy would free me, and now they have.

I sent Big D an email telling him HIS good news, because I've been driving him nuts. Just last week they put a "Price Reduced" sign up and I approached Big D about how he felt about that. I knew then that I needed to quit sharing my feelings with him or I'm going to send him to an early grave.

When he got home from work he asked me how my day was, knowing full well that I was on the verge of tears. I told him that I threw myself into the task of finding us a new cell phone and plan.

I told him a couple days ago that I'd really like to get a Blackberry, but after my research I found out it would cost us about $100 a month. I don't know if you know this or not but that is $1,200 a year, are you kidding me.

Big D gave me some other ideas on where to look and we decided to go try going through our land line phone company to see if they could give us a better deal.

Needless to say when he came home from work yesterday he was on the phone calling people working out a deal and he bought me a pink Blackberry, I really wanted red but pink will do.

When we went to bed last night and all was said and done I asked him if he got me the Blackberry to make up for not getting the house? He could have easily told me I needed to get a less expensive phone and live with it, I have been for the past ten years or so.

He laughed and said No, but a part of me still wonders. I know he loves me and he wants to give me every thing I want. Plus, I know that I have champagne taste on a beer budget, I think I inherited that from my dad.

A couple years ago Big D and I got into a fight because he called me high maintainence. After I explained to him my definition of "high maintainence" he recanted, but I think he was right. I've brought up that fight off and on asking him how he feels about it now, but I think he was right even back then.

When we go camping we have to pay to drive a gas guzzling RV just so I can have a shower, a bed, and a toilet. When we are buying a cell phone the one I get my heart set on is a $150 phone (and that's not including the plan). When we finally get our cute little abode right where we want it, I want a bigger one so I can have family over for Thanksgiving.

We are a one income family. My husband works very hard so that I can stay home and raise our four beautiful children. Everyone comments on what good kids they are and Big D always gives me the credit, but I know the truth they have an awesome dad.

Big D knows I am high maintainence and he still loves me. He still does every thing in his power to give me the desires of my heart and it crushes him when it is just not possible.

I love my Big D to eternity and beyond! I can only hope that I make him feel as loved as he makes me feel. I don't need a bigger house or a Blackberry to be happy. As long as I have my family together and we are all healthy I am the luckiest woman in the world.