Guilt, It's a Powerful Thing

Sandra, the daughter of the lady we were going to buy the house across the street from, came over yesterday. She told us that someone has put earnest $$ down on the house.

Personally, I knew she didn't have to come and tell me, but it was an answer to my prayers.

Every morning walking up my stairs and seeing the house across the street still available and screaming at me, "Why don't you want to buy me?"

A part of me was holding out hope that one day Big D would come home and say he'd changed his mind and he really wants to move across the street. I knew that hope would die if someone would just hurry and purchase the home.

I've been praying that this self induced torture would end and someone in this rechid economy would free me, and now they have.

I sent Big D an email telling him HIS good news, because I've been driving him nuts. Just last week they put a "Price Reduced" sign up and I approached Big D about how he felt about that. I knew then that I needed to quit sharing my feelings with him or I'm going to send him to an early grave.

When he got home from work he asked me how my day was, knowing full well that I was on the verge of tears. I told him that I threw myself into the task of finding us a new cell phone and plan.

I told him a couple days ago that I'd really like to get a Blackberry, but after my research I found out it would cost us about $100 a month. I don't know if you know this or not but that is $1,200 a year, are you kidding me.

Big D gave me some other ideas on where to look and we decided to go try going through our land line phone company to see if they could give us a better deal.

Needless to say when he came home from work yesterday he was on the phone calling people working out a deal and he bought me a pink Blackberry, I really wanted red but pink will do.

When we went to bed last night and all was said and done I asked him if he got me the Blackberry to make up for not getting the house? He could have easily told me I needed to get a less expensive phone and live with it, I have been for the past ten years or so.

He laughed and said No, but a part of me still wonders. I know he loves me and he wants to give me every thing I want. Plus, I know that I have champagne taste on a beer budget, I think I inherited that from my dad.

A couple years ago Big D and I got into a fight because he called me high maintainence. After I explained to him my definition of "high maintainence" he recanted, but I think he was right. I've brought up that fight off and on asking him how he feels about it now, but I think he was right even back then.

When we go camping we have to pay to drive a gas guzzling RV just so I can have a shower, a bed, and a toilet. When we are buying a cell phone the one I get my heart set on is a $150 phone (and that's not including the plan). When we finally get our cute little abode right where we want it, I want a bigger one so I can have family over for Thanksgiving.

We are a one income family. My husband works very hard so that I can stay home and raise our four beautiful children. Everyone comments on what good kids they are and Big D always gives me the credit, but I know the truth they have an awesome dad.

Big D knows I am high maintainence and he still loves me. He still does every thing in his power to give me the desires of my heart and it crushes him when it is just not possible.

I love my Big D to eternity and beyond! I can only hope that I make him feel as loved as he makes me feel. I don't need a bigger house or a Blackberry to be happy. As long as I have my family together and we are all healthy I am the luckiest woman in the world.

An Unwelcome Guest

We have a fever bug hoping from kid to kid in our house. I gotta say, I am not liking this bug right now. I wish it would go away, preferably before I get sick.

I hate seeing my babies sick. Bear had it starting last Friday and now Bud has it. I was laying in bed last night thinking it is a good thing I'm not in school this semester because I'd have to miss school. I am already missing my institute class for a second time this semester.

I feel bad when my babies hurt and there is nothing I can do about it. Bear is taking it pretty good. He had to miss a party on Saturday that everyone else got to go to. I thought he was going to whine about it but he didn't. My other chillywonkas were so cute, they brought Bear home some goodies from the fish pond, that made him feel special.

Bud is missing school today and he loves school. He's been trading Pokemon cards with friends lately. Apparently they are all the rage among five year olds. He loves coming home showing me all the new cards he got, but today he won't get the chance.

I just wonder who is going to come down with this fever next. Hopefully it won't be Big D. He's got a lot on his plate and I'm scared if he gets sick he'd be down for a month. He doesn't get sick very often but when he does it knocks him out for a while.

Oh the joys of being a mother, and a wife.

Goal #37 Run Away with Sisters for Weekend

Okay the goal said to run away with my sisters, but there was a substitution. My brother, Lowell, and I went down to visit my sister Ann for her birthday. Marie was home visiting so she wasn't there.

Ann celebrated her big 3-0 this month. She was feeling down because she feels like she hasn't accomplished anything in her thirty years. She feels even worse when she compares herself to me: married and gave birth to all my kids by 28.

I think she's accomplished a lot. She's getting her education which is soooo important. She's gone ski diving, something I would love to do. She's wrestled herself into every one's hearts and made us all feel special and loved.

She has served a two year mission to Jackson, Mississippi, that is something I can't do until all my kids are raised.

Ann is a strong, beautiful person on the inside and out. She has always been the peace giver in our family. She has a angelic singing voice that I've always been jealous of, but I am very grateful she has such a talent.

I love how she hates to write but she always encourages me to. She loves to share her ideas with me and then push me to write a story about it.

Ann is always the first one to jump in with a hug or a kind word when she knows you're down.

I love being around her because she inspires me to be a better me.

I think Ann is one of the best sisters anyone could have, Marie is right there with her. I wish Ann knew how special she is to her whole family. I hope we gave her a small clue by coming down just for her, and I would do it again in a heart beat.

Happy Birthday! I love you to Eternity and Beyond!

Newsletter

As most of you who read my blog know, I wrote the family newsletter this month for the first time in about two years.

I hope everyone who wanted a copy got one, let me know if you didn't and I will try again.

I really enjoyed putting it together. I forgot how much time it takes but I loved every minute. I've already started on next months just so I can spread it out and not get caught at the end of the month with my pants down.

Family newsletters can have a bad rap. I know some people don't like them that much, which is fine each to their own.

The reason I wanted to start doing one again is because I feel so detached from a lot of my family members whether it be because of distance or just lack of time to socialize.

I find when I am forced to call everyone once a month to get updates I love to just chat and feel like I am a part of your lives. Some of you I only get to see on special occasions and that can be few and far between.

I don't know how long I'm going to be able to do the newsletter again. Once I'm back in school I might have to try doing one every three months instead of once a month, which I know will make some happy.

Over all I hope you are happy with the newsletter and me butting into your lives again. I am trying to get more people involved this go around so you don't have to just hear from me and my ideas.

Thank you to all who helped with this last one and to all of you, please let me know if you want to contribute to any future ones.

Goal #46 No Out To Eat

I so didn't think this goal was going to be as hard as it was. I didn't realize how many times we fell back on the fast food system. Wow, I'm a bad mom.

I think it was really good for our family to take one month and not go out to eat. Not only did it help our pocket book it also helped us with our healthy goals. I'm not saying that one month of no fast food made us healthy, but it did help us feel better and realize what we are doing to our body putting that crap in it.

The funny thing is, to celebrate not going out to eat, I went out to eat at Mama Inez for their Wednesday night Nachos with some girlfriends. They were not that good so I only had a couple bites and ate ice chips the rest of the night.

I think the world as a whole is getting way too dependent on the McDonald's and Taco Bells. And then we whine about being a fat nation.

Well I know I'm fat and I know why and I still whine about it. I wish things could be different, I wish milkshakes didn't take so darn good. And how come healthy food can't taste divine? The world would be a better place if chocolate was the biggest element on the food pyramid. Maybe some day, who knows.