Small Talk

I have been listening to "The Fine Art of Small Talk" by Debra Fine. I have struggled with small talk my whole life. I hate parties, crowds, or even talking on the phone for just such a reason. I can't carry on a conversation to save my life. I think that is why me and my former sister-in-law got along so well. All I had to do was ask her how her day was and she wouldn't shut up for an hour. I didn't have to worry about what question I was going to ask next all I had to do was nod my head every once in awhile and say, "Uh huh".

I've noticed that my fear of talking to people, and them thinking I am an idiot, is getting worse as I get older. I am under the impression that I get to choose if I want to be uncomfortable or not. So I choose to avoid places or functions that I will more than likely feel uncomfortable for not carrying on a conversation. The sad thing is I haven't made any good friends since I got out of high school, thirteen years ago. Besides that I only talk to one of the friends I did make in high school, and that is over the computer most of the time. I've always been under the assumption that my family are my friends and I don't need anyone else. Well that theory got put through the ringer when my brother and his wife split up. I was devastated and I had no one to talk to about it. I couldn't talk to any family members about it because they were feeling the same way I was. I needed an outside person to cry to and not worry that I needed to give them time to cry about it too.

I decided I need to make some new friends. I need to experience the wonderful people who are out there waiting for me to talk to them. Now I am ready. I am armed with the tools I need to be a great conversationalist and now I just need my first victim to test these tools out on. Just wait by the end of my life I am going to have so many friends they are going to have to hold my funeral in a football stadium. Ha ha that's funny!